I wanted to show them my baby before they leave. 'He's a lovely boy', I told them. 'Good as gold. No bother at all'. I had told them that his name was Michael. Hortense flinched : it was the name of her dead brother. A few seconds later, she seemed to like my baby more than the first time. I didn't tell them why I had chosen the name Michael. I didn't want to rub it in. 'I hope you will be a happy family!', Gilbert said. 'I want him to have a better life, not to be prejudiced' I replied. 'I will give him to an orphanage helping for colored babies' I said, heartbroken. They were staring at me, astounded by my talk. I added 'Bernard told me it was the best solution for him and for us. There, he will be raised and be prepared for a hard life in our racist society'. They were still silent but Gilbert said angrily 'We must go, Hortense is tired'. And they left. I came in the kitchen to see Bernard. He had disappeared. Just a letter on the table : 'I love you but life is too hard'.
Two
Gilbert
While we were walking to the house, I thought about my reaction towards Queenie. I had been nasty and I didn't understand why she was doing this. After analyzing my different experiences, I realized that a black child with a white woman was a difficult situation in this racist society. A few months later I told Hortense that I wanted to see Queenie so I could apologize for my behaviour. I was about to knock at the door when she told me to come in. She was pale, thinner than ever, with dirty clothes. I could see in her eyes she had hit rock bottom. 'Where is Bernard ?' I asked. She gave me a letter and cried 'He left me alone. He's certainly dead now'. She added hardly: 'My only consolation is to know Michael is in safe hands. I have nothing now'. I answered that time would erase these terrible events. But she said it was impossible for her to forget. 'Now, tell me about you' she ordered. So I told Queenie 'Hortense will attend once more a Teacher Training School. We were worried about you.' But she seemed to be tired, so I left her alone.
1960
Three
Michael
Yesterday, I celebrated my 12th birthday, at my orphanage, in the district of East End. I was alone in my little room. The only thing I could do was to learn my lessons. We weren't allowed to go out. Moreover, the former director preferred taking care of babies. He didn't like the older ones because no one wanted to adopt us. Yesterday was also the first day with a new director at Windrush orphanage. Mrs. Joseph will also be my new teacher, just for me because I'm the oldest : the others are under 8 years old. They look at me strangely and I have no friends. My skin color is different but it's not a good reason. Mrs. Joseph and I have the same skin color but the children seem to like her. Why not me ? The new teacher seems to be nice but a bit mysterious. We first met in her office. I told her my name and my age. She was quiet then and she ordered me to go away. I saw her taking a record, certainly mine. Maybe she knows my origins. Where do I come from ? Who are my parents ? Did she know them ?
The first time I saw Michael, I was shocked. It brought back a bit of a déja vu time. His skin is like honey, like mine. I invested a lot in this association for Black orphans. It reminds me of my childhood with the Roberts and the name Michael is dear to me. My brother missed me a lot when I was younger. I looked at the record and I found a line of inquiry. Michael's father was black and left the white mother to go to Canada. He didn't know she was pregnant. It explains his color and why nobody wants to adopt him. I told Gilbert my story. He had the same feelings regarding the child. We are still thinking about telling Queenie or not. She is in a very poor condition and we don't want her to be worse. Michael and I get on well and I 'm attached to him now. Even if Queenie doesn't want to adopt him, we would probably do it : we earn enough for three people to live, our house is big and the most important : we are caring. Or maybe we can let him choose his family. He's old enough to say his feelings and his opinions.
Five
Queenie
Hortense and Gilbert came to my house, looking grave, solemn : I couldn't understand why. They told me they thought they had found my baby and asked me the name of the orphanage where I had left him. But, unfortunately, I couldn't remember. One week later, we both met not saying who I was : 'He looks like his father', I admitted. Hortense also said he looked like her brother. She realized we were talking about the same person : Michael Roberts. She asked me plenty questions about him. She was very happy. After that, they said they would probably adopt him. But they first proposed to take my son : I didn't know what to say. This was too violent for me. I needed time to think about it. I had an idea. So I said he would old enough to choose between them and me. If he chooses Hortense and Gilbert (he knows them better than me), then I would help them pay his studies : he would like to be a lawyer, like Gilbert's dream. He seems intelligent, serious. The child I had always dreamt of… I love him very much.
Six
Michael
Mrs. Joseph made me face a difficult choice : 'Would you prefer to live with me and my husband or your real mother ?' I first thought of going with Queenie, but she had left me at this orphanage for good reasons. It would be hard for her to raise me after these events. Moreover, I know Hortense and Gilbert better (it's hard to call them like this) so it would be easier for me to adapt their way of life. They told me the truth after visiting Queenie. I'm the son of Michael Roberts, so the nephew of Hortense. Queenie added that my father would have given me to his sister if I had been alone, because he was nice and made the right choices. Therefore, I will keep contact with my 'mother' because I love her and she loves me. She would be like my godmother. She discovered her husband's will : he gave her a lot of money, saying it could be for my studies, if she finds me one day. She was happy to see Bernard had done a good deed. He wrote that he would have been a good father for me, that he regretted Queenie and apologized for his bad actions. So she told me she would send me £25 per month and I thanked her a lot. She kept her promise. But I never saw her again.
PART I ( text is to big ) : It happened ten years after Queenie gave her baby to Hortense and Gilbert.
Michael was now ten years old, he was a tall kid for his age and he looked just like his mother with his tricky look and smiley face. All went well for him and his parents until they told him the truth. Gilbert talked to him like a father talk to his son, he told him all the story from the beginning in a clear voice. He explained to him how he met his mother and how they met an English woman : Queenie. He described Queenie as a pretty and elegant young woman. At the end of the story, Michael looked very choked and confused. Dad, have you lied to me all this time ? Asked the boy We did son but it was for you, I am explaining it to you today because I think you are now able to understand it. Answered Gilbert quietly. Dad, do you … Oh you're not my dad anymore... I made a mistake Michael... Why ? Because apparently you are not old enough to understand it. The discussion stopped here and Michael ran out of his room. Gilbert was very disappointed about what happened and decided to leave Michael alone. It was a very hard thing to do to tell his son the truth. When Gilbert heard from Michael that he was not his dad anymore, Gilbert realised all the things he did for his son and started to get angry. Hortense who was in the kitchen heard all the quarrel but she was too confused to say anything. Then she went into the living room and asked : Gilbert I think we should have told him earlier. Of course we should have but each time I wanted to I was not brave enough. Whispered Gilbert I don't blame you for this Gilbert. Answered Hortense. I know but each time it became harder and harder to tell him the truth, each evening I used to tell him a story before he went to bed and I should have told him this story, our story, much earlier. Said Gilbert. Suddenly they heard a loud song coming from Michael's room. They ran to his room but the door was closed and the key was not there. Hortense shouted : Michael ! Please open the door ! You know how we love you !
It lasted a whole stressful minute before Michael oppened the door. His face was bleeding and the wardrobe was down. What happened ?! Shouted Gilbert. Sorry dad and mom I love you too... I'm just confused and … Then Michael started to cry. Hortense took him and carressed him and she whispered in his ear :
Part II : - Sorry Michael, sorry for all. We should have told you all of this earlier. The next day Hortense and Gilbert decided to take a walk around the town with Michael but when they called his name he didn't answer back. Gilbert went to Michael's room but he was not there. Hortense asked Gilbert where he could have gone. Suddenly they looked at each other and they understood.
Queenie lived alone since Robert and her decided to divorce nine years ago. She was cleaning her house when somebody knocked on the door three times. She opened the door and she saw a black child. He looked familiar to her. Hi miss, are you Queenie ? Asked the boy. Yes I am but who are you little boy ? Said Queenie. I'm your son Michael ! Shouted the boy. What ? Queenie looked very confused. She told to Michael to come inside and she served him a cup of tea. The boy was sitting on the couch and he looked at Queenie closely. He thought for himself : How can my mother be white ? How did you find me Michael ? Did your parents give you my address ? Asked Queenie. No I stole the paper that you wrote for me in my parents room. Said the boy. You shouldn't be here my boy. Your real parents are now Gilbert and Hortense, they raised you ! Why did you leave me ? What did I do not to deserve your love ? Shouted the boy. Suddenly there was another knock. Queenie opened the door. It was Hortense and Gilbert who both looked exhausted. Queenie immediately understood why they were here. Hi Queenie, we suppose that Michael is here is that right ? Asked Hortense in a despairing voice. Yes he is in the living room, we have to talk. Answered Queenie. Yes we have. Said Gilbert. And they went to the living room. Michael was there, he looked down and felt guilty. He knew that he was going to have problems. But as soon as Hortense saw him she took him into her arm and gave him a hug. The kid was confused but comforted. We were so frightened honey ! Don't do that again ! Said Hortense. Yes Michael you shouldn't do that to your parents, if you wanted to see me you just had to tell them. Added Queenie with a cheering smile. Michael smiled back and apologized. He said that he though that his parents wanted to hide the truth from him. Of course they don't want to hide anything Michael. The day I gave you to them we agreed that we should tell you the truth when you would be ten years old. Said Queenie. Michael if you want to see Queenie you just have to tell us and you can do it on your own it's your right and your choice. Said Gilbert. This meeting between Michael and Queenie lasted the whole day and when the clock rang at 9P.M Gilbert and Hortense decided to go home. Queenie kissed Michael and told him
that he was welcome if he wanted to see her. The child was happy because he understood that his parents loved him for real but another personn loved him too : Queenie his real mother. When they arrived at home Michael asked his parents who was his biological father and Gilbert answered him with humor : « You must ask Queenie next time ! Because we don't know who he is actually ». The kid smiled and answered that it was not a problem because his real parents were them. Gilbert smiled and kissed Michael on the forehead and he whispered : « We love you soon, whatever it happens we will always love you ».
Until today Michael saw Queenie once a month, each time she told him her story and the story of his father : Michael. Michael grew up with three parents whom he loved equally. When he was eighteen years old Michael decided to add the surname of his real mother to his surname. Michael Joseph Bligh was proud of his story and he never forgot what happened to his family and the luck he had to have three parents.
Part 1 : London - 1960 - Four years after Word War II
By that time people have become accustomed to seeing mixed couples everywhere. Gilbert is now living with Queenie. Indeed Hortence left Gilbert after Queenie gave birth to a black baby. Queenie and Gilbert now live alone with their son. Previously, Hortence had thrown Gilbert out of their house with the baby. She was sure the child was his when he confessed to her one nigh that on one occasion he had slept with Queenie.
Twenty-one Nevern Street in SW5 - London – 1960
Gilbert is sitting on the balcony with his son, Michael. They are talking about his mother. He thinks that he is old enough to understand the situation. Gilbert says “Son, I have something to tell you, but first, what do you think about Queenie ?” The little boy answered seemingly worried “She is nice, generous and kind to me, but sometimes you look sad with her dad, what's the matter ? and where is mom ” ? “I know it's difficult to admit, but Hortense isn't your biological mother. I made a terrible mistake during the war... You know, Hortense was in Jamaica, I didn't know if I would survive and return to my home country, I was depressed so …” he replied, fearing his son's reaction. But there was a long moment of silence. Gilbert loves his son more than everything and this waiting seemed interminable. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and Michael looked at them as if his father hadn't said anything to him. Michael finally answered “Why are you telling me all this ? What's the point Dad ?” Gilbert tried to say it in a way as to be clear without hurting his son : “Michael, try to understand please, I'm going to tell you why we live here with Queenie and why Hortence isn't with us. Son, my terrible mistake was to have a baby Queenie, I slept with her one night. You have to understand and please don't judge me. You said that she is a nice person and it's true, she was good to me, and we were both lonely, she was a very good friend and we enjoyed each other's company. Son, Queenie is your mother. ” Michael thought for a moment, then, he had a very strange reaction. His father was surprised. He smiled for a while and said “ Oh it's so funny ! I have two mothers ! I'll be hugged twice, have more cakes to eat and many more gifts” !” Gilbert laughed and understood that it's not time to talk about that, he wasn't old enough but nevertheless it was a first step. He was relieved and suggested they play. However, even if Gilbert was sure that it wasn't the right time to talk about Michael and his origin, several events will come against this decision.
At the Post-office – London -1960
Queenie was going to post a letter when suddenly she made a surprising encounter. Michael Roberts was standing in front of her, with his big white smile. He exclaimed loudly “ Queenie ! I'm so happy to see you ! How are you ? “ But Queenie was surprised and said slowly “ I didn't expect to see you again” Michael was smiling as usual and invited her for a walk like they used to do. They talked a lot and Queenie was happy to see that nothing had changed in Michaels personality. He was the same man she loved during the war. She told him about her difficult situation with the little Michael, Gilbert and Hortence after Bernard's death. But Michael tried to make her laugh and she enjoyed that, so she invited him for dinner.
A Few hours later - Twenty-one Nevern Street in SW5 - London – 1960
When Queenie got back home, she was smiling and singing. She prepared everything for Michael's arrival. He arrived and all the family went to the living room to have a drink. Michael speaks : “ Thank you for inviting me into your beautiful house. I really expected to see both of you and to meet this young boy who has the same name as me. It's fun ! Isn't it Michael ?” “ Yes !” he replied shyly. Then, everybody moved to the dining room to eat and talk. Although Queenie, Michael and Michael laughed together, Gilbert was unhappy. He was really jealous because of complicity between them, and the fact that Queenie called her baby after her first love. He hadn't thought of this before and he felt sad, but Queenie didn't pay him any attention. He didn't want to interfere in the their happiness but then, he thought about his son. It's not time to have an argument, but during diner he wondered if he should talk about that. Unfortunately something made him lose his temper. Gilbert asked abruptly Michael “ What's that mark on your neck ?” He replied politely “ It's a birthmark man, what's wrong with you, why are you angry like that !” Gilbert became upset, he rose from the table, broke his plate and shouted a lot of insults. No one understood Gilbert's behaviour, not even Queenie. On one hand, Gilbert wanted to know the truth, but on the other hand, if they talked about that, his son would be lost and unhappy. Everybody was expecting Gibert to reply, but for a while he said nothing. The little boy was terrified, nobody understood what happened until Gilbert mentioned in tears “ Look at the neck of your son and try to explain to him all your mistakes and who is his real family, his real father. I'm not able to do that, It's too hard for me. I love him more than everything now, but you lied to me. He's not my son, he deserves to know the truth. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think. You're horrible, you're a monster Queenie. I lost everything because of you.” Then he continued crying, but nobody talked, he left the house. Michael was touched by the revelations and felt sorry for the lost little boy, who didn't realise what had happened. Queenie decided to wait and explain to him everything and took him in his bed. After, Michael and Queenie talked all night about their feelings and future, to find the best solution for the child.
One year later – In Jamaica – 1961
Gilbert is standing in front of the sea and thought about the year that had just passed. He had returned to Hortence's house to explain about his the situation, but she didn't trust him. He went to Queenie's house to see little Michael several times. Now Queenie lives with Michael and their son, they are happy, it's finally a long last love. They explained the situation to their child, it was hard but now Michael understands a little bit even if he is sad not to see Gilbert and Hortence anymore. Queenie explained to Gilbert that it's better for Michael not to see him for a while, so he can have a balanced life. So this year, he lost his love, his son and his friend. Now he is in Jamaica again to see Celia, his first love, because he is depressed. Unfortunately she doesn't want to see him because she too has a new life and a new husband. First Gilbert betrayed Celia with Hortance when they went to England, and then he betrayed Hortence during the war with Queenie. Finally he is now alone, and he deserves it because honesty is always the best policy.
The following events happen long after the end of Small Island, in an alternative story.
Queenie
I woke up and had a pain in my chest. It was snowing outside. I turned to my left and as usual, I saw no one by my side. I thought I would lose this silly habit by now. Lately, the days were getting colder and colder, and it aggravated my health. I even had coughing fit, during those moments I could feel my heart throbbing violently, shaking my whole body. Thankfully, Michael always took care of me. He’s so young yet so mature and responsible. He’s grown so much that I’m kind of glad Bernard is not here to see him, he wouldn’t bear it, I know I shouldn’t be happy about his death. He died of a heart attack the night after he discovered the baby. It was a relief to me. I didn’t have to give it to Gilbert and Hortense, so I kept my child. Bernard said he would raise him and take responsibilities for his absence, but I’m sure he wouldn’t sustain the idea of even touching him.
Michael
A loud noise from the street forced me to get up, I was still tired and sleepy but it was morning already. I decided to take a shower and went out to buy some medicines for Mom. She can’t go out because of the snow. I’m 20 years old now, and life is pretty harsh, but I cope with it. It’s not like I have any other choice either. Strangely, on the way to the chemist’s, a woman caught my shoulder and stared at me with a confused expression. Then she released her grasp and ran away with tears in her eyes. I thought it was pretty rude of her to do so. It’s weird but I think she looked a bit like ... Nevermind, I still had to buy medicines. When I came back, I gave Mom her medicines, “By the way, who was my father ?” I asked, “I already told you, he was a soldier and died during the war”, she answered, “You never told me his name ?” I asked, “Come on, Michael, he’s dead and gone, why are you asking this ?” she said angrily, “Oh, it’s nothing … really … don’t worry about it”, I said, still thinking about that woman.
Hortense
I can’t remember the last time I saw someone from Jamaica. It’s been almost two decades now since I came to England. I don’t know why this is coming back to me now of all time, maybe it’s just all the good memories I spent with Gilbert. Unfortunately, now he’s gone and here I am, mourning at his grave. On this walk, I encountered somebody with a familiar face, a young boy, he astonishingly looked like Michael. I stopped him but I didn't have the courage to say anything, after all he was probably just a tourist. The days following, I searched for him, going back to the exact same place, hoping to meet him again, and then one day I did. I quickly stopped him and asked him what was his name, he told me “ My name is Michael”. I realised he was Queenie’s son and everything became clear, now.
Michael
Here I am again, stopped by this woman but this time I actually had a question for her. “Do you know who this person is ?” I asked desperately showing her the only picture I had from him. She said “...Michael”, “Yes, that’s my name, but I’m asking about his” I was starting to think she was really crazy. “I told you his name, he’s called Michael” she answered crossly, I was shocked by what I heard, I finally understood why my mother never wanted to tell me his name. “How do you know that ?” suddenly eager to know everything about him. “Come to my house and we’ll talk about it”, I then followed her and she told me how they were raised together in Jamaica and that he died at war. “Oh, so he really died at war“ I was actually disappointed and thought he was just another hero. She cheered me up by telling me that his body was never actually found, so perhaps he survived. Who knows ?
Later that day when I returned home I asked Mom if she was really sure about father’s death. She was startled, “Why this question again ?”, I told her everything about Hortense and Michael. she laughed so hard, I was starting to worry about her lungs. She finally said “Well, now I guess you know where he is ?” while smiling. My confusion was starting to reach a whole new level. “What, he’s not dead ?” I asked one last time. “Of course not, he’s in Canada, I don’t even remember why he left in the first place” she said looking at my face, “You two look so much alike, It’s incredible”
Happiness, it’s the only word I can find to describe how I felt at the idea of having a father still alive, Even though I didn’t exactly know where he was. I was still overwhelmed by the desire of seeking him. I needed to know. I wanted to know. I was sure he would somehow fill this gap. He will. He will surely come back with us.
One month later, I’m ready to go, on this beautiful journey to the unknow. I’m so thrilled about it, my heart is pumping from excitement, the truth is near and I’m finally reaching it. I prepared everything for Mom, Hortense told me she would take care of her.
The travel was pretty long, all my excitement was gone now, nevertheless my determination hadn’t been tarnished. Thus, my searching began. I searched for him by going to several houses and places asking if anybody knows a Michael, which was pretty confusing for people who asked me who I was, right afterwards. Most of them must have thought I had gone mad. One even said “Searching for yourself, fella ?”. Luckily I had brought the photo, otherwise it would have been a lot more difficult.
After several months, seeking relentlessly every nook and cranny, I was beginning to lose hope of ever finding him, so I started questioning myself, “What if he’s not in Canada anymore ? What if he went to some other country ? What if I’m searching for nothing ?”. However, just when I was starting to sink in despair, I found something...
I knocked on a door, thinking “ If it’s not here, I’m done”. A blonde came to opened the door and I felt something. She looked a bit like my mother. “Hello”, she had a marvelous smile “Hi, I’m searching for this Michael“ I asked, showing the photo, and sensing I was close, “Michael..., Michael is gone…” she said with her smile vanishing, “ Oh, where is he, then ? just when I said it, her message came to me. ”Oh, I understand…”. I turned my back and decided to leave for good. She asked one last question “I’m sorry, but who are you ?” “Michael” I just said, “My name is Michael”.
They were leaving. Gilbert told me. At last ! I had got rid of those two darkies. But one more problem was left, about another coon. Could hardly blame Queenie. But I won’t let my wife keep that baby Michael. So I went downstairs to hear Queenie’s point of vue. ‘Tell me Queenie, what will you do with the baby ?’ I asked. ‘If you don’t mind, it’s my baby and I intend to keep him. I know his colour is a problem, but we will protect him ! Won’t we ?’ Queenie said. ‘Don’t you see, you, silly girl ? What will our neighbours think after that ?’ ‘Stop shouting Bernard ! I only want him to be happy, so he has to be raised by his mother !’ she answered back. ‘I know Queenie, I know, but he has nothing to do with us ! A baby of this sort can’t stay with us !’ Useless conversation. She would hear nothing. I left her alone… went outside for a walk.
Before Fifty-nine Michael
‘Me proud of my uniform. Me proud to serve the Mother Country, here in India. Aren’t you Maxi ?’ I said, to start a conversation with my friend. ‘Of course I am ! But I miss my lovely family’ answered Maximilian, ‘my wife’s pregnant…’ ‘Oh yah man ! Me parents dead and I don’t wan’ go back but I’m so hungry for me Jamaican food !’ ‘So you’re from Jamaica Mike ! Where is it ?’ He had given me a nickname -Mike- just like all new soldiers he met. Cha, I not gon’ keep that name for long ! ‘Yah, I’m from this small island in the Caribbean ! Where you think it was, man ?’ I answered. ‘I thought it could be in Africa ! Sounds like a country in Africa !’ he retorted. ‘Cha, you white men you don’t even know where it is, but please don’t say could be in Africa, anywhere else, but not Africa !’ We were interrupted by a bomb exploding just next to us. I thought my ear was about to explode too ! Just had time to jump in the trench, like we always did. A few days later, I learnt I would be an airman, a rear-gunner somewhere over France. Sounds like a hero -airman-. As I was leaving the camp, after my farewell to Maxi, I heard him saying to a newcomer : ‘Hello Pop’ !’
1948 Sixty Queenie
I’d waited for Bernard to come back from his walk. For so long I had figured out all the possibilities in my head. There are some words you say that can change two lives forever. Those words have to be chosen in the most careful way. What I was about to tell him would make him happy, for sure. But what will my baby say in ten years ? Maybe he would think his mother was too proud to keep him. How will I bear that ? No mother wants her child to say : ‘I am black, my mother’s white and that’s why she didn’t want to keep me.’ I was so stressed waiting for Bernard that I began to say loudly : ‘In Herefordshire, Hertforshire and Hampshire hurricanes hardly ever happen.’ Footsteps. The door crackles. He was back. ‘Hello Bernard. I know you’re right. I know I have to give him away .’ I told him, as if I was begging. ‘Great Queenie ! You have reasonned yourself !’ He interrupted me. ‘Let me finish Bernard. It’s a big decision for me and the baby. I want him to be adopted by a family I already know, not by unknown persons. But before I give him, I would like to spend time with my baby, to rest for a while, to have a break, to go somewhere. Will you come with us Bernard ? Where could we go ?’ ‘I think it’s a good idea Queenie ! It’s been a long time since our last journey. Let me see. Maybe we could go to Brighton, it’s a city in the south, by the sea. It would be an opportunity for us to see Maxi’s house. He was a soldier in India too but he’s dead now. And I spent two years in Brighton when I came back from India.’
‘Good morning Mrs Joseph’. ‘Hello sweetie, could you be so kind as to call your friends, class will start in a minute !’ They were all refugees, all those children who had lost their house or their parents, whose father had not returned from the war, they all had found a loving teacher in our house. They would all look at me, eager to learn, and they deserve it. I always put my best clothes on to welcome my pupils, almost my daughters. A beautiful house it was, I was so proud of my husband who had fixed it, who had installed a door bell, my so kind Gilbert Joseph. He just noticed I had gained weight ; English food or…
1948 Sixty-two Queenie
That’s it, we were going to Brighton ! I was very pleased Bernard had agreed. We took the train. For two hours, I was just sitting near my so white husband, watching the back of his neck, and my so brown baby, with his smooth brown skin… reminded me of his father… and people staring at us… When we left the station, I was happy to walk in the streets, to go on the famous Brighton pier and to feel the refreshing seaside air. Then Bernard lead us up the station, next to the graveyard, to a modest house, painted pale blue. ‘It used to be Maxi’s house’ he said, ‘long gone now. Let’s sit on the bench there.’ We were watching the house, Bernard recalling war souvenirs, speaking of his departed friend, when I saw him, or them I would say. Someone long forgotten, someone from the past, but someone so present to my mind. He was walking up the street, a woman clutching at his arm. They stopped in front of the house, watching, hesitating. I would recognise anywhere that dark skin, soft lips, that hair which brushed gentle as an angora jumper. I grabbed baby Michael, rose to my feet and ran to him. He was standing in front of me, and his eyes would look at me, at the baby and at me again, unbelieving. My long lost Michael was there, at last. He too had wanted to see Maxi’s house. He had come to Brighton on a honeymoon. He had been wounded in India and could no longer have a baby. I could see in his eyes that he knew it all. He was fascinated by the little brown face, the small hands, the little mouth so pink inside when it opened to yawn. ‘His name is Michael’ I told them. ‘Take care of him’ I said, smiling between my tears. ‘I loved him as I did his father, but he needs a real caring family now. Good bye.’ I gave them the most precious thing I had, a part of my heart, and I ran away to the bench, where my husband was waiting for me.
First of all, when I gave birth, I first thought of giving my baby to Hortense and Gilbert because of Michael’s dark skin. However, I decided to keep him, hoping my husband would be kinder with his ‘son’, Michael.
Bernard began to be more understanding and in fact, loved Michael. Nevertheless, one day, an important event happened. Indeed, Michael was twelve and on the day of his birthday, he asked his father why he didn’t have the same skin color as his father. Bernard didn’t know what to answer to this question because during all Michael’s life, he had lied to him. Nevertheless, he decided to tell him the truth and the entire story.
Michael was shocked and didn’t believe what he heard. He began to cry and decided to leave his house and to look for his real father. I decided to go with him because after twelve years, I, Queenie Bligh, was still in love with him. So, first, we went to Jamaica. We walked for a long time to find him but we finally didn’t succeed. However, we met Gilbert again who was with another person who was not Hortense! I asked him: “Where is Hortense, Gilbert? Who is this woman? “.
Gilbert answered sadly: “Hortense killed herself one year ago. She didn’t explain to me why… I don’t understand Queenie! Did I do something wrong? She just let a paper on which was written: ‘It’s Michael’s fault ‘. I don’t understand! Who is this Michael, except her favorite name? I’m quite desperate, so this woman here is my sister, my family is more important now… “.
I didn’t know what to answer to this tragic event. It was really strange to see Gilbert like this; he seemed to have lost his happiness and good humor. Moreover I thought, first, if it because of baby Michael. Had Michael done something wrong? No, it can’t be that because Michael, my baby, didn’t know Hortense. I replied to Gilbert: “I’m really sorry for you, you can count on me but I have to go now, I’m looking for Michael’s father! “ We continued our way a long time, when suddenly I recognized ‘tall ‘Michael in front of the beach. I ran to him and began to cry. Michael looked at me and said: “What are you doing here? “.
I answered with angrily: “I’m here because you have a child you know that? He would like to meet you.”
Michael was really surprised to see us because he had begun a new life with another woman and he had a child, so he started to explain to me very calmly: “Queenie, I don’t want to upset you but after I went to Canada at the end of the war, I began a new life here. You and your child are not my concern, it’s not my problem. What I said was not against you but that’s life.”
I couldn’t believe what I heard, I was really upset and I slapped him. However before going back to England with ‘Michael Junior’, I asked him if he knew someone called Hortense. Michael said: “Yes, I know Hortense she was like my sister but she killed herself a few weeks ago I think so… It’s really bad. I don’t know why she did that but I think she was in love with me! “.
I replied nothing but after a moment I began to understand and all was clear. During all this time, Hortense and I had a link, who was Michael and we didn’t know that! In fact, Michael was just a womanizer when he was young and we had both fallen into the trap.
So, I and ‘Michael Junior’ decided to go back to England because we didn’t have anything more to do in Jamaica but after a few minutes, ‘Michael Junior’ said: “Why didn’t my father want to see me ? “ I didn’t know what to say because it was just because Michael was selfish. I said his adoptive father was Bernard because he had taken care of him since he was a baby. Then, we decided to stay a few days in Jamaica to visit.
What a surprise when I came back to England and saw Gilbert in my house speaking to Bernard. I asked him what he was doing here. He said: “I’m here because I would like to warn you. Hortense’s family and even my family thought she killed herself because of your child. I know it’s not ‘Michael Junior’ because he is too young to do anything terrible. So, I defended your child and my family chased me from my home. So, I would like to ask you if I could stay in your home because I have nowhere else to go… I have some money, if you want. “
Before I could speak, Bernard said to Gilbert there was no problem if he would like to stay there.
I was really surprised to hear that because Bernard had been racist for twenty years, about twenty years ago! Nevertheless, after a few minutes I realized that my child was in danger because some people thought he was some kind of a murderer. We decided to keep Gilbert with us and to wait for Hortense’s and Gilbert’s family. I was really afraid for my child because he was all my life.
One day, five years later, the two families arrived at Bernard’s house. A fight which was really violent took place. The results of this fight were really tragic: Bernard broke his arm, Gilbert lost an eye, I had bruises everywhere, and ‘Michael Junior’ was killed. I couldn’t believe, I cried a lot and felt depressed for about two years because I seemed to have anything to live for now. It’s really hard to see that people who are relatives can fight like this. I, Gilbert and Bernard were really courageous to do violent thing just for justice because we knew ‘Michael Junior’ was innocent.
Ten years later, Bernard and I began a new life with a newborn who was a girl named Cecilia.
Gilbert also began a new life and we didn’t hear from him for a long time. Cecilia was generous, kind with Bernard and me. We decided to tell her Michael’s story when she was twelve because we didn’t want to lie again. We showed her all the pictures so that we always thought about Michael. Many people will think Michael (Junior) was a devil because he was black, but I didn’t want to forget him. It was really hard but this event changed all our lives, Bernard and me. Indeed, Bernard was racist, so he hated black people like Gilbert before I had Michael. Before the war, I was like a princess but after the war and what had happened with ‘Michael Junior’, I became stronger. In fact, we suffered a lot, but we learnt also many things like to be more understanding.
After a long time, when Cecilia was twenty-one years old, she announced she would marry a man named Bernard and this man was black. We were really happy and we invited Bernard’s parents for dinner. When they arrived, we couldn’t believe what we saw, his parents were Gilbert and a woman named Celia Langley.
From this event, all was perfect: Cecilia and Bernard were really happy like us!
A few weeks earlier… The moment Bernard saw his wife’s new born, he completely lost his senses. Indeed, the little boy hadn’t a white creamed skin. He looked like if he had been soaked in a big bowl of liquid black chocolate. At that time, Hortense and Gilbert were packing. It was their last afternoon in M. and Mrs. Blight’s house. It was a chapter that ends, but a new life ahead of them.
*
Once again, Queenie and Bernard were having a huge fight about the baby. People could hear their loud voices from the street. Unlike years before, people didn’t want to visit anymore. But suddenly, someone knocked on the front door. Three harsh knocks. It’s Bernard who left Queenie alone in the kitchen to open the door. In front of him stood an impressive man, his shoulders were very developed and he had black sharp eyes. The man was wearing a brown leather jacket and a hat was jammed on his head. “What do you want nigger?” asked Bernard. “Good morning sir, let me introduce myself first …” “What are you doing on my porch?” “Michael!” interrupted a thin voice. Queenie was standing behind Bernard in the corridor, her hand grabbing a chair like if she was going to fall down. Her eyes were bulging and her mouth slightly opened. Michael was looking at her; nothing had changed in his attitude, except his eyes that were full of shining stars. “I came back for you Queenie.” At that moment, the blond haired girl was sure. It was the man outside her house that was her soul mate. “If two souls are meant to be together, no matter how long it takes, they will eventually found each other, to end up together.” she thought. “In Herefordshire, Hertfordshire and Hampshire hurricanes hardly ever happen.” she whispered.
*
Bernard had cried, he had begged, but nothing could have changed Queenie’s mind. She was supposed to leave the house in the morning, taking the baby with her, leaving her husband alone. She was ready to go wherever Michael would go. “What a shame” thought Bernard. He couldn’t find sleep; his head was on a worn pillow, his eyes looking vaguely at the window. A drop of perspiration was slowly flowing down his forehead. All he could think of was Queenie, but she wasn’t his anymore. “My father passed away, I haven’t got any close friend or close family. I used to live for Queenie. I haven’t been a good husband apparently; I didn’t show her how much I love her. I am such an idiot. I hate myself, I hate him. I hate darkies even more. I can’t stand being myself anymore. What I am living for? I’m so ashamed of myself. I just lost the woman of my life, I hate myself. I hate myself.” Bernard was feeling so desperate, he had always been a strong man but this was too much to handle. He felt like there was only one solution left.
In the morning, Queenie got up with a hidden smile on her face. At that moment she was truly happy, knowing that she was going to start a new life with the two people that she loved the most. Michael and their baby. The blond woman spread perfume around her and hit the stairs, but when she came down; she let herself fall down. It was hard for her to breathe, “What have I done?” she whispered. She repeated four times this sentence, louder each time. She was yelling in the end, her voice made the house shake. And she was trembling herself. Bernard was in front of her, lying on the floor, his neck was red like blood and his face so pale that his dark eyes made Queenie even more scared. A written letter was next to the body:
“You gave me a black son; you are leaving me for a black man. I won’t be able to leave the house after that, I feel so ashamed. But the worst thing is, I’ve loved you since the very first day Queenie. Always have, always will.”
Queenie burst into tears; she crushed the letter in her hand and started scratching herself and grasping her hair. After a while she laid on the floor next to Bernard, interlaced her fingers around his and she closed her eyes. “People say that the worst thing is not to commit suicide but to think that it actually is the only solution. I made him think of that.” she thought.
But it was too late.
*
The week after that, Queenie was sitting on a chair next to the window, holding her son all wrapped up in blankets. Michael was standing in front of her, his arms crossed. “Now what, Queenie?” he asked. “We cannot be together after what happened, Michael.” “I came back for you, don’t you remember?” “Didn’t you hear what I've just said?” “I wish I hadn’t.” The atmosphere was tense. It felt like everything was falling apart, it felt like maybe the two lovers weren’t supposed to end up together. Queenie’s eyes started to be filled with tears again but she was a strong person so she didn’t cry. Instead she kissed her baby’s snub nose and smiled. “Haven’t you found a name for him yet?” asked Michael who was sadly looking at his son. “I haven’t.” “Queenie look at me.” He took a deep breath and launched: “I know you need some time to yourself after what happened. But… if you truly love me Queenie, please meet me in exactly a year on the bench where we sat the last time we saw each other. At sunset. I’m going to leave now; I hope to see you there.” Michael put his hat on and started to walk away from the living room. But suddenly, he stopped and turned around. “I like James.” Queenie didn’t say a word, her heart was pounding but she was trying to look as calm as possible. When the door slammed a thrill ran through all her body, from her head to her toes. “We’re going to be okay, James.” she whispered.
Nine months away from Mrs Blight’s house, Gilbert and Hortense were doing just fine and dreams finally came true. Hortense was a teacher following eight months studies and she couldn’t be more thankful to her husband who helped her to achieve this project. The couple went to so much trouble together that they were now inseparable. And the most important; they lived in a big house with a bell to ring. “Ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling” was Hortense’s favourite sound, it made her smile every time.
Sometimes two people are forced to spend time together to realise that they belong together, sometimes they have to stay apart to realise that they cannot live without each other.
*
1949
A year passed. Three hundred and sixty five days. Queenie woke up without knowing what to do, she knew it was “the” day, but she hasn’t decided yet. “What if Michael isn’t there himself?” A million questions were popping in her mind, causing her a headache. Anyway, she put on a lovely dress that matched perfectly with the colour of her skin and she delicately brushed her hair. The sun made it look like gold. She had been thinking all day long, it was still hard for her to think of Bernard because she blamed herself for his death. Late in the afternoon Queenie went to the cemetery to put some flowers on Bernard’s grave. She was feeling blue and stayed there for a while, her tiny white shoes in the fresh grass. The sun was going down, time was slipping away and it was getting darker and darker. “It’s time for me to start a new chapter Bernard.” She whispered calmly. Then, she looked up at the sky, a smile cracked on her face and she said: “I hope you won’t be mad at me from up there.” The blond haired woman raised a little bit her dress and started to run to “the” bench. When she arrived, no one was there. Her legs were trembling and her eyes looking everywhere. A tear rolled down her cheek but all of a sudden, a hoarse voice coming from behind made her warm and freeze at the same time.
Part 2 Later they came back downstairs and Michael shook Gilbert's hand and thanked the couple for taking care of Queenie. Afterwards he explained the reasons for his presence and they had a long conversation about their experience through war and the life in England. One week later, Michael and Queenie returned with the baby to the house where they met for the first time. Queenie seemed to be quite happy again. At that moment they were very close friends with Hortense and Gilbert. They used to see each other’s almost every day and talk for hours. One of the main themes of their talks was the racism and the discrimination they faced in England. They also liked to share their projects for the future. Michael and Gilbert became friend, they spent more and more time together, they got along well maybe because they had a similar life path: they both left their country of origin. For their part, Queenie and Hortense were also related, first because of Michael. They enjoyed chatting around a cup of tea in afternoons. A few weeks before Christmas, Michael and Gilbert went downtown to buy some meat for dinner. They entered a big store and while they were waiting in the queue, they were looking at a beautiful poster representing a beautiful landscape of New Zealand. They came back to Gilbert’s house where the women had already begun to cook. At table, Hortense explained that when she was young, one of her dream was to live in England but she realized that it wasn't as welcoming as she thought. Life was quite though for « colored people » here. Queenie added that English people always treated strangers badly even those who served the country during war. Suddenly Michael suggested « Why don’t we go and live in New-Zealand? ». Then he told the others what he and Gilbert saw. First it sounded like a strange idea, but Michael managed to convince the others. After all, maybe in New-Zealand, people weren't full of prejudices yet. So it was a chance, they shouldn't miss. In the next weeks the two couples saved up some money and prepared the departure. As they travelled, they were all full of excitements and impatient to start their new life and this time again on an island. They arrived in January in Auckland, a very nice city; it was quite warm at that time. In fact seasons are the opposite to those in the northern hemisphere. They moved to White cliffs, a remote hilly place in Canterbury region. Then Michael and Gilbert decided to buy two houses in the same big field separated by a wooden bridge which cross a little stream. The two men also started to breed sheeps and to sell wool to earn some money. Hortense managed to obtain the right to teach and became a teacher in a small school in Christchurch. And Queenie worked in a small grocery store with her son. After a while, Gilbert and Hortense had a child. Hortense never felt so happy, and Gilbert couldn't ask for anything more. On their side Michael and Queenie got married. They were joyful and she was particularly grateful for what the Roberts had done for her. She had forgotten Bernard. Years went by and children grew up. Once they were old enough, they left their parents to study in Auckland. Then they separated and led their own lives. Queenie, Hortense, Michael and Gilbert lived happily for decades and stayed at last together. Once Gilbert and Hortense received a letter from their son. He was about to marry a woman, from Brighton…
Island Lives Part 1 Few minutes after, Queenie gave birth to her baby. Behind the door her husband was furious. Four days later the House was calmer but now the atmosphere was terrible. Although he was very confused, Bernard went to talk to his wife. He said that he received a letter from a women he met in Brighton who was saying that she was expecting a child from him. He told Queenie that he understand her behavior, the war circumstances could explained her act. He wanted to apologize because he also did unforgivable things. Queenie had no sooner hear his last sentence than she burst into tears, and felt desperate. Then Bernard took the decision to leave and asked for divorce, it was for him the best option. Queenie remained alone with her baby in the house. From that moment she cried in her bed every day long, petrified. Fortunately, Gilbert and Hortense often visited her. They tried to console her but she was really suffering. Gilbert and Hortense were worried about her. One day, Gilbert came to knock on the door. No one answered. He looked through the window and saw the shadow of a blunt object. He was first stunned, then nervous. He immediately entered the house through the window; Queenie was in the kitchen staring at a long blade. He moved in the room as fast as he could and hold back Queenie, then he threw the knife away through the window. At this time he really understood that Queenie was in danger. He was also very affected because he had a special relationship with her since she housed him when he has arrived from Jamaica and have had hard times. He thought that this situation couldn’t last any longer, so he quickly convinced his wife to accommodate Queenie at their home. Queenie didn’t get well so Hortense had to look after the baby. It was quite pleasant for her because she has always loved children. Meanwhile Gilbert was attentive and as usual very altruist so he made big efforts to make the house as comfortable and welcoming as he could for Queenie and her baby. Months passed, and life in the house became difficult. In fact Hortense and Gilbert started to argue because she couldn’t bear anymore the fact that Queenie was entirely dependent from them. She said that she had compassion on Hortense and was ready to help her; however she wanted to live her own couple with her husband. At these words, Gilbert stayed hopeful and believed that next months would be better. One morning on a beautiful summer day the doorbell rang. Gilbert opened the door. A tall black man appeared and introduced himself as Michael Roberts. He politely asked if a certain Queenie lived here. At the same time, Hortense and Queenie arrived at the door. At the sight of this man they both passed out. The two men, shocked, came inside and Gilbert told him to bring Queenie on the sofa. When she woke up, she couldn't believe her eyes: she had Michael standing in front of her. She was speechless for a while then they went into the garden and started to talk. Michael said that when he was in Canada, he couldn’t stop thinking to her; it was too hard for him to stay there. He wanted to apologize for everything that happened to Queenie when he wasn’t here. He felt so guilty. His voice was thick with emotion. Meanwhile in a room upstairs, Hortense slowly came back to her senses, Gilbert was anxious. He felt lost between these people knowing each other’s so he requested some explanations. Hortense got off the bed and sat on a chair next to the window. She could see Michael kissing Queenie through the curtains. She told Gilbert about her childhood with Michael, their separation and her dream of seeing him again. She seemed to be embarrassed but sincere. Finally, she held her breath and said that Michael had an important place in her heart; and admitted to her husband that Michael was the only man she loved… until she met him. Gilbert’s face was pale, his eyes were wide opened. He didn’t know how to react. So Hortense reassured him and hugged him close to her. He sighed and felt dizzy.
Since Queenie gave us little Michael, I knew that the day would come, however, I was not prepared for it. Ten years passed, our cute colourful baby grew up and changed into a wonderful boy. I was preparing lunch, when I heard Michael running downstairs and stood in front of me, with the picture of Queenie, his face was full of questions and I locked answers. - « Why is there this picture hidden under your pillow, with a word for me ? Who is she ? I have never seen her ! » - « Sweetheart, Daddy will be back soon, we will answer you together... »
The minutes turned into hours, therefore, when Gilbert came home, he was my hero, because I was not able at all to tell Michael alone. However, my dear Gilbert left me the difficult part, he said that I was the only one who could announce it. So I took a deep breath, and I started to tell him, in an innocent way, all the story, everything since I met Gilbert, including the wedding, how Queenie and Gilbert met, the generosity of Queenie when she offered a room, our times together, Bernard and his racism, but most of all, his birth and what his mother did to keep him safe and cherished. Gilbert explained to him that we didn’t know yet who his real fatherwas, because Bernard was a white man, as Queenie. He could no longer speak, but the tears falling down on his cheeks said more than any words could ever do. He was not angry, not disappointed, he was just so sorry for Queenie, alone with a man like Bernard. - « Let me see her Mum » As I expected, he wanted to visit her, and even if the fear of losing him was terrifying, his happiness was and is still now stronger than anything else. Gilbert had an important meeting, he couldn't join us unfortunately. After he gave his lovely son a big hug, he took me in his arms and told me that whatever happened, we were his parents and he loved me more everyday. We took the bus, and when I looked at the sky, with Michael asleep on my knees, I knew that nothing will be the same.
Bernard and Queenie didn't move on, the house was exactly the same as in my memories. Ten years ago, I was standing in front of this door, with thousand of dreams and hopes. The feeling when Michael rang the bell was definitely not the same actually. Nobody came to welcome us, that was really weird, Queenie hated leaving her house empty. The door was open so I pushed it, and then I saw the most horrible vision of my life… Bernard, lying on the floor like a corpse, around him, seven bottles of alcohol, a smell of sewer was hanging in the air, it was unbearable. I told Michael to wait for me outside, and I forbade him to enter. I felt his heart-beats, he was just in a heavy sleep, but then I discovered with horror some blood traces on the floor, far from the body of Bernard, and I started to imagine the worst. As any child of ten years old, especially a curious boy like Michael, he didn't listen me and he looked at this human body, in a monstrous way, during five minutes, in silence. - « Is he Bernard ? My mother's husband? Does she love him mummy? » - « It is indeed her husband, however I can say without any doubt that she never loved this man. We are going to ask the neighbours, maybe they know where Queenie is. » Mr. Todd died soon after we left, the new owners were a black couple, I found this really ironic and I could see the old man rolled over in his grave. They were really nice, they told me that Queenie left the house in an ambulance about 4 hours ago and they gave me the address of the hospital, without mentioning a word about what happened.
We took he bus right to Saint James Hospital. During on the way, I couldn't stop thinking and sending all my prayers to Queenie, couldn't erase the thought of the blood in my mind. However, I had to pretend that everything was alright, because my cute boy was the most worried. When we finally arrived at the place, the Emergency were full, so we had to wait for more than an hour in the waiting room, some clinical cases were sickening … After that, a nurse came to take care of our case. We followed her to the room of Queenie, and she informed us that she was really tired and not in a good mood, her medical situation was unstable. She also said that a visit for her was expected in the evening. She left us all alone, in front of a big white door, and a cold silence surrounded all the long corridor. Nonetheless, as soon as we put a foot in the room, the sound of the electrocardiogram controlled the rhythm of the blood in our veins.
I was pretty sure, that if the nurse didn't drive me there, I wouldn't recognize the beautiful woman that I known well. She was covered in bruises all over, and she looks 15 years older. Michael found her beautiful, and I told him that his mother was the most gorgeous woman I have ever met. He couldn't stop looking at her belly, thinking of the nine months that he spent inside this place of love.
We both took Queenie's hands, to the extent that she woke up, kissed me, hugged tightly Michael and she was sitting, weeping on his shoulder. - « My treasure, it's been a long time, you have become a wonderful boy, so proud of you. Thank you for everything Hortense... » - « Everyone will be jealous at school, no one has a mother like you! » - « My dear friend, why are you there, what happened? » - « So many things you couldn't imagine, Bernard started to become alcoholic and to beat me. That was juste sometimes but it turned into always... » - « Please forgive me, I should be ther with you, I feel guilty... You can not go back home with him, we have an empty room at our house, she is just waiting for you, as your love child do » Queenie accepted straight away. Then, suddenly, I heard someone knocking on the door, Michael opened it, and I couldn't believe what I saw, Michael Roberts was there, thousand memories, and I passed out.
I woke up slowly, I was trying to calm down, but it was definitely impossible at this moment. I was alone in a white hospital bed, a nurse came in the room, told me that I passed out, and that my little boy was safe with the visitor of Queenie. That was unbelievable, I will never leave my boy with this liar. I stood up, and ran as fast as I could to Queenie's room, the nurse came after me but it was not a problem. - « What the hell are you doing with my baby?! I don't know the reason of why you came, anyway, stay away from him, from me and I dare you to never come back » - « Calm down Hortie, everything is fine, breath... » - « I forbid you to call me that way, you don't have to be here with my friend and my son. » - « I have a good reason actually! » - « I'm listening ! » - « I am his father. »
It was Sunday morning and the smell of fresh pancakes filled the entire house. As usual, Hortense was preparing breakfast and setting the table. Then, she called her son, “Michael! Breakfast is ready, come downstairs!” Michael’s father, Gilbert, was sitting on the sofa reading the news. “Michael, come on! Hurry up, stop dawdling!” he said. “I’m coming in two minutes!” Michael answered. Hortense brought Michael up with gentle manners and in a religious inspiration. In fact, every Sunday she went to mass with him. Gilbert never joined them and refused to take a stand for this. He had his own Sunday activities. He obviously preferred to be in charge of the garden and it “refreshes his mind”, he affirmed. It has been particularly difficult for both Hortense and Gilbert to become integrated in these new suburbs. Everyone naturally wanted to make a place for himself. Gilbert knew this and it was obvious that people didn’t want him to hold important responsibilities. The only job he was able to get was to become bus driver and it wasn’t enough for Hortense to go to the teacher-training college. It was only just enough to have some bread for dinner and to raise their son.
Back in 1948, England, Finsbury Park, North London
Hurricanes were not the only things Hortense couldn’t escape from. When the couple moved into their new house, their husband’s neighbor M.Welford died of old age. The Welfords were known to be very respectable and they used to live in comfortable conditions. They had no children, no descendants and no one could inherit their property. After several weeks, the newcomers got to know the old widow much better and they were totally at her disposal. One day, Mrs Welford offered Hortense some of her paintings. Then, she could sell them in order to make some money to go to her teacher-training college. Hortense was very embarrassed and she didn’t want to accept this offer but the old woman insisted and explained that she wanted Hortense to consider it as a gift for her kindness. This woman became attached to Hortense and her little family because she didn’t have one. Hortense didn’t know how to thank her but she promised her to come to her house every day and she was there for her if she needed anything. Few days later, she joined college and began her studies. Nothing in the world could make her happier. Three years later, Hortense was qualified to teach English pupils: her dream finally came true, and the first person she went to see and tell this great news was Mrs Welford. The old woman was so proud and happy for Hortense and her family! It was the beginning of something great! Gilbert was also very proud of his wife and he was glad to know that a great teacher will be the mother of his son. Through the years, Michael was very lucky to have a teacher for mother because she helped him several times at school and he received a successful education. When he grew up, he didn’t want to become a teacher but he wanted to study law, just like Gilbert. His father was very happy to see him do things that he wanted once but he couldn’t.
1968, England, Finsbury Park, North London
That Sunday morning 1968, Michael ran down the stairs, skipped a step and fell down. “Be more careful Michael Joseph!” shouted Hortense, “We are going to be late for mass”. Michael stood up and came to the table, caught a cup of coffee and sat on one of the chairs. “What’s wrong with you this morning Michael?” asked Gilbert. “What is going on? Did you not sleep well? Are you sick?” continued Hortense. All these questions definitely annoyed Michael, “I am totally fine, thank you”. Hortense put her coat on and waited at the door step. “Come on Michael, it’s time to go” she said. The Catholic Church was far from their house, they took the bus for more than thirty minutes.
This church was only for black people and everyone knew each other there. The priest knew Hortense and Michael well. That day, he pronounced the following prayer: “Dear Jesus, I pray that I honor my father and mother whom I shall never disappoint. Because disappointing parents means disappointing oneself, so please help me not disappoint them. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen”. The mother and son came back home after mass and for Michael the prayer had more importance than at first sight. In fact, that prayer started a hurricane in Michael’s mind. He already knew that Hortense and Gilbert were not his real parents and that they had adopted him, but then who were his real parents? That question started to haunt him. Hortense and Gilbert used to give news about Michael to Queenie: they sent her pictures, letters, and postcards. But she hasn’t seen Michael since she gave him to them. Bernard was never really curious about Michael, he never asked about him. Gilbert was still sitting in the sofa, the newspaper on his legs. But he had fallen asleep when Hortense and Michael came back home. “Gilbert!” called Hortense, “You haven’t moved from this sofa since this morning?” “Oh I’m sorry, maybe I must have fallen asleep” “Sure, look at your outfit! You’re still wearing your pajamas” “Does it really matter? It’s Sunday” “Please Mom and Dad!” said Michael, “Can I talk to you two?” “Yes sure, what it is about?” answered Hortense “Mom can you please take a seat?” “Well, it must be something serious” “Sort of, I would like to know something. Something I’ve never asked you before and I think I’m mature enough to know more about it now.” “About what?” asked Gilbert impatiently. “Well, you’ve always told me that I was adopted, and I’m very thankful for everything you did for me for these past twenty years. But it’s time for me now to get to know my biological parents, know who they are, where they live, and simply my story.” “Why you want to know that now Michael?” asked Gilbert. “The prayer of this morning gave me food for thought. As I said, I am very grateful for the home, the love and the education you both gave me. But it is the story of my life and I deserve the truth.” “I know that you’re old enough to know this, but, Michael, if you’re not with these people right now, it is for good reasons.” said Gilbert. “Gilbert, I think it’s time to tell him about his origins, we owe him this” said Hortense. She went into her room, opened her closet, took out a suitcase and pulled out an envelope. She held out the envelope to Michael. “Open it” she said. He hesitated but finally opened it and discovered a picture. It was the picture that Queenie put in Michael’s bag when she gave him to Hortense and Gilbert. “Who is this woman? Is she…my mother?” asked Michael. “Yes Michael, she is.” answered Hortense calmly. Michael was staring at the picture, puzzled and lost. Was it possible that his mother was a white woman? Or was it a joke? And what about his father? Michael had thousands of questions in mind. Hortense started to tell him about when she and Gilbert came to England and received the help from this white woman, Queenie Bligh. “Well, this woman, called Queenie Bligh, is my biological mother, right?” said Michael, “and is Bernard, her husband you told me about, my biological father?” “That’s complicated son” told Gilbert, “Your mom, Queenie, had a “relationship” during the war and then, there you are! But we are not the best people to tell you more about your father.” “So should I meet these people? Wait, that’s not a question. I want to meet them, as soon as possible. Today would be great. Do you have an address or something?” He looked to Hortense, and then to Gilbert. “Yes of course” said Hortense. She opened the suitcase again, and took out a bit of paper with something written on it. “Twenty-one Nevern Street” Michael read “Is it far from here?” “A little bit, but we can take you there if you want” told Hortense. “No it will be fine, I can take the bus”
“Sure Michael? It is not a problem for me, nor for you, Gilbert?” Hortense looked to Gilbert. He didn’t move from the sofa and he was looking at Michael. “I’m not very excited about this, Hortense” he finally said. “Why? Michael has the right to know them! He is an adult and mature enough!” “Yes, but we both know them, and especially Bernard! You know how he is! And that’s not the kind of person I want my son to meet.” “Gilbert, you should be reasonable, you have to let him go, if it’s what he wants to do.” Gilbert didn’t say more. That afternoon Michael was on his way. Forty minutes later he was on the bus, he arrived in front of Earls Court. He walked with a firm step to the door, raised his hand and knocked the door. Once. Twice. No one came. It was like nobody lived there. He took a few steps back and waited. “Try again Michael” he was saying to himself. He knocked the door stronger. But no answer again. “I’m wasting my time, there’s nobody here, it’s time to go back home” he said. He moved back, eyes full of tears and walked down to the bus station. He crossed the street and at the same moment, a white woman opened the door. She looked out, wondering who had just knocked. Then, she saw the back of a black man, crossing the street. He turned back and she immediately recognized him. There he was. The son she has let go twenty years ago. He was tall and handsome. A singular face. He had her eyes and the same pointed nose. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. But she should have said something. Especially to save his life. She didn’t have the time to open her mouth and alert him to move from the middle of the street when a car hit him and knocked him down. Queenie screamed so loud that it made Bernard run instantly through the house to her side. “Queenie for Jesus’ sake what happened?” he said. Hurricanes brought Michael to life quickly. However, they ripped him out of the world even quicker.
It was on the platform of Kings Cross Station, Queenie was waiting for Bernard who was coming back from India. Bernard had sent in a letter to Queenie that she received the previous day. Queenie was in a pensive mood. She was wondering how to tell him about the death of his father and the presence of a black baby who was not his. When the train arrived, Bernard came out and he looked lost in the middle of the steam from the engines and the voyagers who were rushing toward him like a tide in a storm. In his mind, he saw again what he had seen during the war and his hands began to tremble. When Queenie found her husband and ran to him, the latter didn’t recognize her for an instant and looked surprised. Then, he said “Oh! Queenie! Is it you?” and began to cry uncontrollably. Seeing his emotions, Queenie didn’t know how to react for a moment but feeling compassion for her, she held him in her arms and started to kiss him. Back in their home, they sat at the dining table to eat supper together. Bernard remained mute like a dead man during the supper. Some children were playing in the street and they set off a firecracker. Hearing the explosion, Bernard fell from his chair onto the floor. After Queenie picked him up, he began to explain the reasons for his behavior. “During the war, I fought in terrible conditions and saw a lot of horrors. I saw horrors like rapes. I saw horrors like tortures. I saw horrors like civilians massacred. I am afraid to explosions because one day in 1945, all the soldiers in my company were killed when a bomb exploded in our tent. When it was over, I was the only one who survived. What remained of my friends were pieces of flesh and limbs scattered all over the ground. Then, I was sent to a lunatic asylum in New Delhi and I stayed there for three years. During those three years, I was cured off post- traumatic stress and depression. It was only in 1948 that I was considered sane and sent back to England.” His account upset Queenie, who realized what Bernard had suffered during the war. She decided to reveal to him the death of his father and the presence of the child. When he heard this, Bernard said to her that she had betrayed him and began to cry for his dead father. He decided to leave the house and abandon his wife. Feeling no desire to go back to his home, Bernard found a cheap room in a dilapidated hotel. Not knowing what to do and overwhelmed by the trauma of war, he began to drink. Now, he lived only to drink. Beer, Scotch whisky, Irish whiskey, bourbon, gin, brandy, cognac, rum, kirsch, schnapps, vodka and wine, he drank them all. Queenie, on the other hand, having no news from him, thought he was dead.
The situation was totally different with Hortense and Gilbert. In fact, the Jamaican couple were more united than before. It was due to the success of Hortense in teaching. For a while, she was searching for a teaching post at a secondary school, but her application was rejected each time. Then, one day, her fortune changed. She was accepted by the Queen Elisabeth Secondary School. The principal of the school, Mrs. Hamilton, was well-known for her progressive ideas. As a teacher, Hortense was confronted with problems at the beginning, but she overcame them with persistence. If Mrs. Hamilton was known for her tolerance, it was not the case with the other teachers at the school. During the first days, they treated her with condescension and disrespect. Her pupils at first couldn’t stand the idea that they were taught by a black woman. Hortense had to suffer mean pranks like putting needles on her chair, stink bombs in her bag and a lot of humiliating nicknames: “monkey teacher”, “banana seller”, “mud eater” and “Mrs.Darky”. Moreover, the parents of pupils were no less stupid. When they learned that a black woman was going to teach their children, they protested and demanded Mrs. Hamilton fire Hortense. Hamilton was a woman of strong character and she never gave in. With time, Hortense proved herself as a very competent and sincere teacher. Little by little, those who had rejected her, began to realise their mistakes and change their opinions about her and they apologised to her. Since then, her life had never been better because she realised her dream of becoming a teacher in England. Gilbert’s life also turned better. Fed up with his job as a postman, he decided to open a small general store and he bought vacant premises in Brixton. Brixton was a town where the largest Afro-Caribbean community was found in London. He sold mainly Jamaican products which became very popular among the people of Brixton and his business was a great success. Now, Hortense and Gilbert were the happiest couple in the world because they now had a real future they could look forward to. The money they earned allowed them to move out of their room into a house.
Queenie, desperate, sat in an armchair and held her baby in her arms. She thought about her solitude and the future of her son who would grow up without a father. When somebody knocked on the door, she stood up from the chair, thinking it was a neighbour. But it was Bernard. Seeing her husband, Queenie, very surprised, stepped back and observed him carefully. His face hadn’t changed much but he looked totally exhausted. He came into the house and sat down on the sofa without a word. Then, he said to Queenie “I’m sorry to have abandoned you”. Queenie asked him “why did you leave?” Bernard answered “Because I didn’t know how to react when you told me about my father and the baby. I took refuge in drinks without facing reality. I was a coward who decided to abandon his wife. I’m back because I realized that I was wrong and the only way to redeem myself was to begin a new life with you and MY son” Hearing his confession, Queenie was very moved and started to cry, not with bitterness but with happiness and said “you are the only man I have ever loved in my life”.
Five years later, Hortense and Gilbert were living in a beautiful house overlooking Hyde Park and they now had twin daughters named Grace and Alice. Hortense was still teaching at the same school. The business of Gilbert had expanded meanwhile and he had now five grocery stores in London. Bernard and Queenie had settled in the countryside away from London. Bernard found that he had a talent for painting. From his work he decided to paint the madness of the war and celebrate the beauty of life and love. He was very successful in his work and his paintings became known all over England. Queenie liked a quiet life in the countryside because she thought it was the best environment for her, Bernard and their son named Peter.
I looked at Mrs Bligh with her baby, serene as a Madonna on the messy bed. And it felt like a vicious cruelty to have to ask her, “Shall I let them in now?” Then I realized that, just before Mrs Bligh went into labor, as Bernard had been violently shouting at us, telling us to leave the house and Queenie trying to hold him back, something had dropped from her pocket. Therefore, when I came back to the bedroom, I picked it up. When I saw what it was, I couldn’t believe it, I closed my eyes, I stopped breathing. My heart was beating faster and faster. My whole body was shaking and it felt like my head was going to blow up. So I sat on the bed and stared at the thing that upset me so much. Then, I realized that I had no choice: I had to talk to Queenie. Eventually, I entered her bedroom; she was lying on the bed with her baby who was sleeping peacefully. I didn’t want to interrupt this particular moment but I couldn’t let the chance slip through my fingers. Not one more time…
GILBERT
Queenie, Hortense and the baby had been in that room for hours. I wondered what they were talking about and I hoped I wouldn’t lose my wife. I used to be patient, especially with Hortense, however, this time, I couldn’t wait. Therefore, I opened the door and I didn’t see anyone. First of all, I thought that they had gone upstairs, but I searched the whole house and they were not there. Secondly, I asked Bernard, unwillingly, if he knew where they were, but he didn’t. So we finally decided to look for them together even if Bernard was the last person I wanted to be with. To begin with, we searched the whole house to find a clue that could help us, but we didn’t find anything. “We need to go to the police Gilbert!” said Bernard panicked. “First, calm down Mr Bligh, we are going to find them, they are both responsible women…” but he interrupted me: “They are not responsible! They are gone, Gilbert do you get it or not?”
BERNARD
I was running with a black man through London’s streets, so I realized that, despite everything that happened, I loved my wife and I would have done anything to get her back. Although I was different from Gilbert, we had a common goal, that is why we needed to work together. We arrived at the police station and I told Gilbert: “You should stay outside, you know, the police forces are not really used to…” “To what Mr Bligh?” he said. So I realized I had said something wrong. “Nothing Gilbert, just stay here.” And that is what he did surprisingly! Then, I entered a big office and told my story. The police officer explained to me that if they were missing for less than 12 hours, they could not do anything. I had never been so angry: “My wife and her baby are missing, they may be in danger and you are telling me that nothing can be done?” I shouted. As I was arguing with the policeman, a hurricane entered the office: it was Gilbert. He wanted to talk to the police officer, so I went outside because I thought it could be my only chance to find my wife. In the end, I never knew what happened in that room; nevertheless, when I went back, the policeman told us that he would do his best to find our wives. Gilbert impressed me and I wanted to thank him. As a result, I asked him if he wanted to stay at my place for a while because maybe, he had nowhere else to go.
On one hand, this proposition surprised me so much that I thought it was a trap but on the other hand Bernard was right, I had nowhere else to go so I said shamefully: “You won’t even notice I am here!” Now, it was only the two of us in that big empty house and I expected a long conversation with Bernard, explaining to him that black people are not monkeys but human beings, but instead, we just waited in the living rom, staring at each other and sometimes one of us made a tour of the city, asking people if they had seen a black and a white woman with a baby. After twenty-six days of endless waiting, the police contacted us: they had been seen at the port in Montreal: “Canada? Why?” I wondered. But we didn’t have time to ask questions: indeed, we took the first boat to Montreal.
BERNARD
We had been on this boat for eleven days now, with no toilet, almost no food and no water. I couldn’t believe that Queenie, Hortense and the baby had survived that hell. During this trip, I had time to talk to Gilbert (that was the only thing I could do to occupy my days!) and I realized he was not a bad guy. He talked about his life, his choices, and his wish to be a member of the RAF, in fact we were not so different and I guess, little by little, he became my friend! I was friend of a black man, if my RAF’s companions knew that! One night, we witnessed a terrible storm. Everyone was screaming and crying, I had never seen such a frightful event. Besides, even Gilbert who was used to hurricanes in Jamaica was really scared and nervous. Nevertheless, he tried to calm me. The rain was beating so hard and the wind was blowing so much that I fell in the water. It was so cold, I couldn’t move and I couldn’t see anything: “Help, help!” I cried, so Gilbert jumped off the boat to rescue me, he took my hand and put me back on the boat, I was safe, but when I looked down, a huge wave took Gilbert who sank, and I never saw him again. This man died to save me and suddenly, I regretted everything I said about black people: they are human beings, just like me, and Gilbert was the nicest and the most generous one I had ever met. I finally arrived at the port in Montreal safe and sound, but crying because I had lost my friend.
QUEENIE
I saw the one I never expected to see anymore: “Bernard? How did you find us?” I said, taking him in my arms. “Long story, I’ll explain, but I want to know what happened to you first”. “As you know, a black man called Michael is the father of my baby and Hortense found a picture of him in my bedroom, with a letter he wrote to me 8 months ago. But Hortense knew Michael, from Jamaica, we both wanted him back, that is why we came here. The trip was exhausting and the baby almost died but we took care of him together and now he is safe. When we arrived in Michael’s house, we found his wife.” “That boor got married!” added Hortense angrily, “She told us Michael died in a car accident so we have nothing to do in Canada anymore.” I continued. “Where is my Gilbert?” said Hortense excited. After a long silence, Bernard told us his story and we couldn’t retain our tears.
HORTENSE
Tragedies happen, but why Gilbert? I just thought that, having known him was worth it, despite the pain his dead caused. Queenie and Bernard, after everything we went through, decided that I would be the teacher and the governess of their beautiful baby: Michael Gilbert Arthur Bligh.
Two months later, I heard that Michael was alive and that he came to Queenie . I couldn't believe it . I thought he was dead ,but he was alive,but he didn’t come to me , the one he grew up with . Moreover, I wondered about how I could raise my son with Michael and Queenie close to me . Therefore, I went to Queenie's. I knocked ont the door wondering if what I was doing was right,I kept telling myself that I was right but deep down in my heart I knew I was wrong . Nevermind . It was too late now . Besides, Queenie had already opened the door . I knew in advance that I wouldn't be able to face her so I wrote a letter in which I explained why I decided to give her back her son.
One night, Queenie came to us in hurry with her baby,she was crying and devastated . Despite, the hate I felt for her , I empathize with her . First , she couldn't breath so we gave her some space. Once she was calm,she told us what happened . Michael and her had planned to see each other with the baby at her house as Bernard had an appointement in town . Nevertheless , at the last minute it had been cancelled . Michael showed up at the door and beyond all expectations , Bernard opened the door . Michael pretented that he must have knocked at the wrong door . Bernard told him scornuflly "Typical darkie,can't even find their way " . Michael got cross but remained calm and retort : " I'll act as if I have misunderstood " but Bernard laughed at him and said " Oh you don't have to pretend to do something that's natural in your genes,wogs can't do anything " It was too much for Michael who couldn't help shouting it in Bernard's face . "Chaa,maan you're right, I can't even sleep with your wife without getting her pregnant,nah " that was the final straw for Bernard . The two men started fighting . Queenie tried to separate them but they were too strong for her . Suddenly,there was no more sound, so Queenie came to see what happened . However , she saw Michael's body laying on the floor,unconscious,so she tried to hear to his heartbeat but there was none . She cried,then she hold Michael's hand,closed his eyes and kissed him. Next , she ran away from Bernard. I couldn't realize that Michael was gone once and for all . I told her if she would like to stay with us .
Few people came to Michael's funeral,only Queenie,her son,Gilbert and I .
Fifteen years passed by since that day, Queenie and her son lived with us for two years as finding a job was a difficult task . She worked in a bakery in the neighbourhood and lived at the top floor of a building . Since that night , Bernard became an alcoholic . Apparently,drunking was the only way for him to escape from his nightmares about the murder .Moreover, he couldn't face the reality of being alone, as he didn't have friends anymore and being hated . This hate was due to the fact he had raised with Queenie a "half-caste baby" . It was the worst situation ever. It was the progeny of two different races . For this reason,Queenie and Michael were the targets of the neighbourhood. Unlike them ,we were just «darkies » so they didn't care about us .
Furthermore, Michael had only few friends as even his blacks mates were afraid of becoming a punching bag because of their friendship with Michael . In the meantime,Queenie became weak and was dying day after day . She blamed herself for her son's misfortune . She lost her charm and her beautiful blonde curls. At knowing what their lives became I felt apart and blamed myself . Then Gilbert tried to comfort me : " Cha Hortense what happened,I never saw you like this since I met you! What the hell is going on ?!!! " . I stuttered "Gilbert,this....this is all my fault ...I shouldn't have given Michael back to Queenie.... None,none of this would have happened !! What did I do,Gilbert ?!!! This poor child had nothing to do with what his father did. I made thing worse for him , I brought about Michael and Queenie's downfall " Then he hugged me so tight that I felt like he was bringing back the pieces of my heart that had fallen apart . Next, he told me : " I can't just hear you blaming yourself anymore, I am responsible too . Hortense,we can still do something about it ! We let awful things happened,let's not let things getting worse " . Then , we prepared ourselves and went to Queenie's and her son with the hope that we could help them . It was 8 p.m and Michael was not there . He used to check on his mother at that hour . Something was wrong . I could fell it in my bones . I ran like the wind,till I was out of breath but I got weak quickly . However,my pain went away at seeing Michael far and away suddenly a white group came to him .They looked at him violently so I tried to ran but I felt on the ground .
Then, I heard a sound which was getting bigger and bigger. In fact,it was an echo of a horrible sound,the echo of a gunshot . Next, I saw a body falling down. I burst into tears .
1963
I feel sad for Queenie because I realised that once people are broken in certain way, they can't ever be fixed and this is someting nobody ever tells you when you are young . I wish somebody had told me . It was too late ......
I could stare on this cute little face for hours. Something in this face has always attracted me . I used to lost myself into his deep eyes, I couldn't see anything else . The world was gone . There was just the two of us . As months go by,I found that I was the happiest woman ever in the world . Indeed, I had a considerate husband and a child . Until last year, I used to look after myself before Gilbert came along and I just couldn't imagine my life without them anymore .
Sometimes, Queenie came at home to see the baby . She couldn't come often as she didn't want Bernard to suspect something. Moreover,she kept convincing herself that the less she met her son the less she would suffer . At first sight,she seemed strong and happy but behind each smile I could see pain,the pain from being away from her son . Seeing her son made her so happy . After each goodbye, she had to dry her tears and went back to her miserable life with Bernard .
On a warm sunny afternoon, I was searching forsomething and I came across the picture of Michael and I,taken in Jamaica few years ago . Then,something caught my attention and reminded me of my son so I stared at my son and the picture and I notice that they both had the same look I used to fall for and smile at . My first intuition made me think that maybe he was Michael's son as Queenie named her son after his father's name .
When Queenie came to see her son again , I asked her some questions to know for sure . First,she didn't want to answer me as it reminded her about happy memories but painful ones . Then, she took a deep breath and told me that the father was from Jamaica,that he joined the RAF and that this lastname was Robert . At that special moment,I remembered how devastated I was since Michael had left for the RAF. Besides , I remembered the look that my son and Michael had in common,next I remembered the first time Queenie came to me and put me in mind of Mrs Ryder . My subconscious had known from the start . I was so mad that I left with my son as fast as I could without saying any words to Queenie and allowing her a warm goodbye . I felt mad at myself as Gilbert was doing everything he could to cheer me up but I couldn't just override my pain which was emerging again .
It has been a long time since we saw Queenie. Our little Michael grew up quickly in six months. Queenie and Bernard used to come quite often at home, to visit Gilbert and I, but it has been more than two months now since we last saw them. When we got to their place, we learnt that Queenie was sick. The doctor didn’t really know what her disease was due to, but she had a lot of temperature and frequent nausea. I could read on Bernard’s face that he was worried. But there was something more... Something he wasn’t telling us. What was it..? I didn’t know that I would discover it soon. As we walked into Queenie’s room, the smell of sickness was surrounding all the area, it was everywhere: in the air, on the bed, we could smell it from the door. What a terrible smell. We didn’t bring little Michael over, we thought it was better for him, and it was safer according to the doctor. I sat on Queenie’s bed. «My dear, I said, how are you feeling this morning? - « I had better days Hortense, » said Queenie in an exhausted voice, but I’m alright. Wish I was better though. I look terrible, I’m so ashamed... - Oh don’t you say such things! You look fantastic! Oh god, if only I looked just like you when I am sick! Gilbert would be more than happy. - Thank you Hortense, you’re so kind... - Is Bernard taking good care of you? - Well he’s at work in the morning but tries to come back early every night to make me dinner. I think he’s in the kitchen right now, he didn’t go to work today. - I will go and say hello then. I will leave you with Gilbert now. - Okay then, thank you so much, I’m eager to see you tomorrow already. - And so am I. Goodbye my dear Queenie».
And so I left the room to find Bernard, in the kitchen, next to Queenie’s room. «Good morning Bernard, I said, iced cold. - Morning Hortense. How are you? And how is your husband? he said as I could read jealousy in his eyes. - We’re both fine thank you. What did the doctor say today? - I don’t think it is any of your business, I can deal with my wife’s sickness by myself woman. - Know that if I’m asking this, it’s for Queenie, not for you. I’m worried about her and you’re not making any of this easier, so what did the doctor say? - My wife doesn’t need your mercy, she’s doing just fine! - No she’s not! Look at the truth Bernard, she’s dying! You have to act, she needs you, she needs all of us! You don’t want her son to grow up without knowing his mother, do you? - How dare you? You, get out of my house! Now! I don’t want to see you anymore, is that clear?» As Gilbert heard us yelling, he came in the kitchen: « What’s goin’ on here? Queenie’s worried, she needs rest and you both yelling like monkeys ain’t helping! - Ah Gilbert, said Bernard, there you are! You both better leave soon before I call the police! - Calm down Bernard, please, said my husband. Why are you so upset? What happened? - I’m going to tell you what happened: your wife is less than nothing, insubordinate! She better learn how to behave before I teach her a lesson! - And you better calm the heck down before I teach you a lesson! How dare you talk to my wife this way? We’ve been here since the beginning, helping you to get through Queenie’s sickness, and that’s how you thank us? - I can handle it on my own, now you better just leave. - No! said a little voice, breathing roughly in my back. They won’t leave Bernard, said Queenie. You’re the one leaving. I’m done hearing you complain all the time, it’s unbearable. Hortense and Gilbert are my friends, and they take better care of me than you do! - But Queenie, what..? whispered Bernard. - There’s no «but». I can’t take it anymore, you have to go, otherwise you’re the one who’s going to kill me! Don’t you see: I’m doomed as long as you’ll stay in this house! So leave, and never come back. - Queenie, said Gilbert, you have to calm down. Your reaction is way too extreme, you need to think first. - Oh I’ve been thinking for three months Gilbert, and I’ve made my decision. He won’t make me suffer anymore, not my own husband. I mean, my ex-husband.» As the conversation was ending, Bernard started crying. He rushed upstairs, took a few clothes, and before leaving he said: «Your son is the person who will kill you. He’s the only sin you’ve committed since you’re born, and you’re being punished for your actions. I love you Queenie.»
And he left. Queenie collapsed in tears as Gilbert brought her back to her room. A little while later, we left Queenie’s to go back home and take care of our little Michael. Weeks, months passed. After a year, Michael could walk and speak a few words. He visited his sick mother everyday after kintergarden. As for Queenie, her state was deteriorating in a very aggressive and fast way. After a year, we discovered she had cancer. At first we thought it was just the flu, but we didn’t know it could be cancer. She had just a few months left, according to the doctor. She started losing her hair. One day I came into her room: she was totally bald. I couldn’t help dropping a tear. «Don’t cry my dear, said Queenie. It’ll be alright. I’m ready now. - Don’t you dare Queenie! I yelled. Don’t you dare lose hope! You have to live, for your son! He needs you... - He has you now. You are his family. And when I’ll be gone, you’ll talk to him about me, about my life, you’ll show him pictures and... She started crying, tears flowing like a river on her face. And you’ll love him like he was your son, you’ll love him, as I love him, as I love you both Gilbert and you... - Oh Queenie... What are we going to do without you..? - I’ll always be there, no matter what. No matter how far you go, Michael is the proof that I’m still alive, because I’ll be living through him... He’s the most precious thing I have, oh please Hortense, my friend, take good care of him! - I will, I promise you, I will. - Tell him I’ll always be there for him, and whenever he needs me, he’ll just have to look up in the sky, and stare at the stars... He will find me there.»
These were the last words I heard from my dearest friend. Those words were for her son. Queenie died in the late afternoon that very same day. Gilbert and I cried the whole night... We didn’t know how to say to our baby that he will never be able to talk to his mother again. We organized the funerals the week that followed Queenie’s death. Her dead body was laying down in a golden coffin, her face was pale and her beautiful eyes were closed. I never thought I would see her in this position one day. We all cried over her dead body on that rainy day, but suddenly, a memory crossed my mind as I was looking at Michael... And I remembered that Queenie was still there somewhere, inside him, looking after us, because she will never be totally gone, she will always be there in the stars, looking down upon us. At that moment, I knew that this is what I would tell her son.
At last, my dream came true. Despite the buildings in ruin still in smoke and the dusty streets as a result of the war, I couldn’t stop pressing the little bell, which was my dream when I was in Jamaica. I wasn’t yet satisfied with it. I used to spend my days going around, tidying up and decorating this gorgeous home in downtown London. I also used to plan my days around my school courses because, for the second time, I was trying to graduate as a teacher. (Despite the good work I used to do, my instructor refused to make me pass to the next level. In the school where I had applied for a position, even the secretaries had treated me in the same manner. I could not move ahead). One day, my instructor made a mistake on the blackboard and I raised my hand and pointed out the error to her. I just couldn’t believe how angry she became. I, the outcast of the school, was asked to leave the classroom. I had no remorse of what I did and I was proud of it. While thinking of this, I am still able to smile about it. However, I had this lack of love for others. Gilbert seemed like a perfect guy for me. He was courteous, friendly and polite. He paid attention to me and was very sweet. I wasn’t able to have the same feelings I felt for Mickael. In addition, I couldn’t stop seeing in him the face of the child that Queenie had given me. I thought I was a little crazy but while this latter was growing up, I could see that his eyes looked like Mickael’s eyes. His cheeks, nose and his whole face looked like his and even the name that Queenie had chosen for him had some similarities to his: a coincidence that fills my heart with joy and pity at the same time. Moreover, the rubbles in the London streets left by the war, gave the impression of fantasy and the city that used to be magical in my mind, was nothing more than rubbles and devastation. The look in the face of people seemed to be tortured by the remembrance of the war. These faces showed fear. Nevertheless, in the midst of all this confusion in smoke, people appeared to be still happy and hopefull. Even though the tragedy was still present, I used to enjoy decorating the house, preparing fries for Gilbert and to educate Mickael. For me, life here was even better than the one in Jamaica., yet I was still thinking of my beautiful native country. Despite all its imperfections, I still dream at night of the beautiful white sandy beaches, its turquoise water and its waterfalls that come down creating this mist that refreshes your face. Regardless of this paradise, my life was now in London in the house of my dreams: Gilbert, Mickael and I often went to visit Queenie and Bernard who used to live in our previous home.
One night in 1952, we were all at Queenie and Bernard’s house celebrating a great event. Queenie had succeeded in improving the relationship between Bernard, Gilbert and myself. Bernard’s racism had finally calmed down when Queenie told him that Gilbert had been very pleasant towards his father. We were all sitting at the table and I couldn’t stop noticing that Bernard’s look wasn’t as scornful as usual but rather pleasant towards Mickael. On the opposite side of table sat Queenie who was looking at Mickael with an inexplicable tenderness. I could wait to express the love and tenderness that reigned around the table on this occasion. “Queenie, Bernard, I am expecting Gilbert’s baby and we’ve decided that if it going to be a girl, we’ll name her Queenie”, I said shyly but happy. Queenie began to laugh from joy and got up and hugged me tightly. It was the first time that I had seen her really happy. Queenie had become my best friend and my confidante whom I trusted a lot and whom I never hid another thing from her. At the end of the wonderful meal, Gilbert and Bernard began to play cards while Queenie who had been so moved by the announcement, decided to go lie down. Not having anything to do, I decided to go and check out the little room where Gilbert and I had lived before. Apparently, no one had gone into that room since our departure. When I bent down to see how dusty the room had become, I saw a black wallet under the bed. My curiosity drove me to pick up the wallet and open it. I could feel my heart beat faster and faster. There was a black and white picture in the wallet of a man wearing a hat. I couldn’t understand. My eyes started to see blurry. It was a picture of Mickael, not the one that I have raised but the one I had loved tenderly in the past and who had left me. The picture he had left me was at home and how could there be another one of him here? I weird thought came to my mind. I took the picture out of the wallet and rushed home to see if the one Mickael had left me was still there. Gilbert was screaming in the cold and wet street of London trying to catch up to me and was begging me to slow down. I couldn’t, I was running as fast as I could. Once I arrived home, my desperation and my misunderstanding bothered me even more. I stood there looking at the two pictures which were identical. I couldn’t feel my legs anymore. I was so lost from this occurrence that Gilbert had to helped me to our room and put me to bed where I fell asleep in a flash. The next morning, I woke up in a jolt. I needed to understand all of this without mentioning it to Queenie. I spent the whole day asking myself questions. While I was preparing dinner, I kept on watching Mickael playing in the street with his friends. “My God, my God!” I screamed. All the dishes I was holding in my hands fell to the floor. I had understood why Queenie had given him that name. Queenie had had a child with Mickael and that’s why they looked alike a lot. What a revolting feeling to have raised the son of a person who one has loved without being the mother. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if it was wise to mention it to Queenie or not. I didn’t know whether it was a good idea to tell Mickael the truth, to tell him that this man was a womanizer, moving from one adventure to another without turning back and abandoning them, leaving behind just a picture of himself. No, I couldn’t. Surely the love she used to feel for him, was stronger the one I felt in the past. I had loved him so much that I had named his own son Mickael even though he had given him to me in such a sad way. I decided then not to say anything to anyone and also decided to burn these evil pictures.
Some twenty years later, Queenie’s secret was still mine. While I am here telling you the story, I want you to know that Mickael now knows that Queenie is his mother but hasn’t met his father yet. My daughter named Queenie is now twenty-three years old. Out of all this, there was thing positive and that is that my daughter Queenie and my adopted son Mickael have grown up together, but Mickael aware of his roots. The two have decided to get married. Queenie in her old age is very ill. The love that these two children shared seemed to be true and sincere. They got married on a beautiful sunny day in Jamaica. The wedding took place on a beautiful beach, which I used to dream about, and which I used to miss greatly. Everyone had travelled to Jamaica for the wedding except Bernard whom was still furious about Queenie for betrayed him. Even Queenie with her fragile health travelled to attend the wedding. Gilbert was even happier than me of this unforgettable moment. The youngsters were in love and living the dream of a lifetime. My long story comes to an end here on this beautiful beach of Jamaica where it all started. A beautiful ending for Queenie and I despite the lifelong secret we held inside: this was the gift we deserved.
1951 Three years after Hortense and Gilbert quit Queenie to dwell in their own house, they had wonderful new life, and with money they had saved they could put John, the baby Gilbert and Hortence adopted, in a day-nursery. It was quiet difficult for a black baby to be accepted. It was still racialism and it became more complicated to be respected and treated black people. However Hortense became an English teacher in a private school in London. She searched for this job for almost a year but her dream came true. She was respected by everybody in spite of the fact that at first she very suffered from racism and sexism. Every single day she fought against inequalities just because she was a young black lady. Nevertheless she enjoyed teaching. As for Gilbert, he was hired as a driver for a CEO of a big company. During three years, he got a hard life: he changed several time jobs and often he had big troubles with his employers. They treated him like an object with no compassion and no recognition. He couldn’t bear his situation anymore. One day he found an announcement for a job as a driver for a CEO, a couple days later he was hired. His boss was kind and respected all his employees especially those who were in the RAF. Gilbert had now a better situation and he could enjoy his life as he wished. They had a far better life compared to other blacks, and sometimes they earned more money than their whites neighbors. They couldn’t expect better at this time! The first week of June after a long day work, they received a letter at home which seemed to come from far. “What is it Hortence?” asked Gilbert “We received a strange letter. It’s unusual to receive this! Gilbert, have you done anything wrong recently?” “Absolutely not! Why are you accusing me? I’m not your student! Just open it and let’s see what is inside. “ Hortense opened the letter, it was from Jamaica. Both were surprised by the provenance. It was Judith, Gilbert’s aunt who wrote them. She invited them to Jamaica for summer. They couldn’t decline this invitation beacause Gilbert knew his aunt and she would be upset if they didn’t come there. The same day Gilbert bought boat tickets for the 17th July. The day of departure they were exited to return to their native country and they expected to show all they had accomplished and of course introduce John to the family. On the ship their travel cabin was very narrow and it was quiet difficult to enjoy the comfort they dreamed. Of early days were the most complicated for them due to the fact that Gilbert and John were seasick and Hortense felt sick. The trip didn’t begin in the best ways. Day after day the journey was getting worse even if they believed it couldn’t be worse, it was a rough crossing . Indeed on the 10th day, a terrible storm hit the boat and ravaged a large part of the ship. There were lot of damages; as a matter of fact they had to share their tiny cabin with another family. So Gilbert broke unluckily his arm during the storm when he wanted to reach his cabin to protect Hortense and John. However the trip continued seen that the engine wasn’t damaged. The last two days were more bearable; John and his father could handle the seasick.
Part II : The 4th August day of arrival, Judith waited anxiously for the three Londoners. She didn’t see them for such a long time, she was anxious in case she didn’t recognize them. On the dock Gilbert saw immediately a tiny woman who was wearing a red dress with yellow straw hat: it was Judith. He ran to her with John in his arms. Both were glad to see them after almost 3 years. Aunt drove them to the house which was located in Wellington, a beautiful place surrounded by the ocean. The next day, the rest of the family who heard the news came over to Judith’s house to meet them. Around a good meal prepared by Judith, Hortense and Gilbert spoke about their adventures in England. Hortense told her cousins what was education like there and how she fought to obtain what she wanted. They were fascinated by her bravery and amused how she told her story. In the same time Gilbert used to tell his situation, how he suffered from racism, how many times he had to change his job and finally how he obtained his new job. They said how bad the situation for black people was though they had a better life than the majority of their black brothers. Meanwhile John met for the first time his family and he had played with his cousins on the beach. Few days later while they were on café’s terrace on a lightly cloudy evening, Hortence seemed to descry, on the other side of the road, a white young lady with blond hair, she couldn’t recognize her but her appearance was familiar. Three hours later while they were walking on the sand beach, she was there again; Hortense could this time recognize this woman: she was Queenie! Three years after they quit her, they saw her again. Hortense informed her husband that Quennie was there. He couldn’t believe her, what was she doing here in Jamaica? Hortense and Gilbert went to find her. It was a good surprise. Quennie was also moved to meet her old friends there. She suggested they had a drink and a chat, they didn’t refuse. They went to Quennie’s hotel. She told them she had divorced Bernard because he became more violent and alcoholic, she didn’t bear him anymore. So she came here a while to discover Jamaica culture, she said that she would quit the island soon. On 17th August a terrible and unexpected drama happened, unforgettable drama. A terrific hurricane hit Jamaica: it was Hurricane Charlie. Gilbert and Hortence were walking on a beach when this happened; they saw death coming. They tried to take refuge in a cave next to the beach. They waited for a few hours; John was frightened and couldn’t stop crying in front of his parent’s eyes lost in this disaster. Hours passed and still this finiteness came back. When they left, they saw ruins. Everything was destroyed by Charlie; houses, shops, trees, nothing was saved. Gilbert though immediately of his aunt, how was she right now? They rushed to Judith’s house, when they came, all was desolation. The house was blown-up by the hurricane, nothing left. Gilbert hurried up to the house. He saw his aunt on the floor under the ruins. He ran over to her but it was useless, she couldn’t breathe anymore, it was over. She was buried the next day in the garden.
It was a calm night. The neighbourhood seemed to be at peace and the families were resting after a long day at work. This peace was suddenly interrupted by the cry of a baby coming from Queenie’s house. It was over. Bernard followed the doctors to the ambulance as they were taking Queenie to the mortuary. Gilbert was trying to calm the baby, crying as if he knew what life was awaiting him. Gilbert thought of the last words he had said to Queenie on her deathbed. The baby could not stay with Bernard. Of course it would never be easy to raise a baby whose mother died while giving birth and whose father hated him because of his skin color, but Gilbert made her a promise and he intended to keep it. A few days later, the city of London organized a trial to decide who will be responsible for the baby. Gilbert and Hortense asked to take care of the baby but Bernard refused, declaring that it was his duty to raise the baby. Gilbert then accused Bernard of wanting the baby for revenge and to make his life miserable. Yet, in spite of this, as it was a white man’s word against a black man’ word, the Justice agreed that Bernard would be the new father. Gilbert realized that even the State was corrupt and still discriminated against black people. He had failed Queenie. One day there was an unexpected visit at Bernard’s place. It was Michael. Although he had travelled for months all over Canada he was simply incapable of living his new life peacefully. Indeed he could not stop thinking about a woman, Queenie. No matter how hard he tried, he was just not able to forget her so he went back to England to ask her to live with him. After a long sea trip, he finally got to Queenie’s house and knocked on the door. A drunken man opened the door, it was Bernard. - “What do you want?” Bernard mumbled. - “Excuse me is this Queenie’s house?” Michael asked politely. - “Who are you to speak about her?” - “My name is Michael and I met her during the war as she kindly provided us with food and shelter for a night, may I see her?”
Suddenly it seemed as if lightning had struck Bernard. He jumped on Michael, punched him and they both rolled on the ground, fighting wildly. Michael was able to overcome Bernard who was clumsy due to drunkeness and knocked him out with a kick in his face. He rushed into Queenie’s house, called for her, but no one answered. He then went upstairs to the bedroom and froze as his gaze dropped to a baby lying on the bed. He felt a strange sensation, as if this baby was familiar to him but he could not recall why. Then Bernard’s scream jolted him, as he knew that the police would soon be after him. He ran out of the house and jumped over the fence. When he thought he was out of reach, he sat on a bench in a park and started crying. He barely noticed the man sitting next to him: - “It’s a hard life isn’t it? I like to come here when I feel sad, just to look at the trees and forget about everything else. What’s your name?” the man asked while giving him a tissue. - “My name is not important, just leave me alone” answered Michael. - “I’m afraid I can’t do that, you remind me of myself when I went through hard times. And you don’t seem to be too bad a person compared to all these people who think they are superior by the color of their skin” he added with a smirk on his lips “where do you live?” - Michael smiled back and said : “I used to live in Canada, but really I’m from Jamaica” - “Oh Jamaica that’s where I come from too! I’m Gilbert, pleased to meet you!” - “And I’m Michael.” - “Would you care to come to my place and stay for the night?” Michael nodded back and they both walked to Gilbert’s house. They came in and sat down at the table. - “My love, please welcome a guest, he comes from Jamaica and I asked him to share dinner with us tonight!” Gilbert said loudly. - Hortense walked quickly to dining room and said: “Gilbert I told you I was tired and that.” She suddently fell unconscious on the floor in the middle of her sentence as she saw that the guest was in fact Michael. It was a long night. Michael explained to Gilbert every detail of his life since he left Jamaica and how much he now regretted the choices he had made, but nevertheless Hortense kept ignoring him. He then asked if they knew anything about a woman called Queenie. Gilbert answered that she had passed away months ago while giving birth. He also told him that Bernard was supposed to be taking care of her baby. Michael’s heart was shredded to pieces. He ran outside and fell on his knees. His last hopes were destroyed and he felt as if he could never live peacefully again. All of a sudden, a thought dawned on him. The strange feeling he had when he saw the baby on the bed, Bernard attacking him when he said he met Queenie during the war, Queenie dying while giving birth, he was the father of the baby Bernard was taking care of! He got up, ran to Queenie’s house and opened the door. The door was unlocked, Bernard must be drunk and forgot to close it, he thought. He went in, tip toeing to the bedroom upstairs. He opened the door and saw the baby on the bed and Bernard snoring on the floor. He silently picked up the baby and left the house.
The wind unfortunately slammed the door behind him, which woke up Bernard who started screaming when he saw that the baby was missing. Michael ran back to Gilbert’s house entered the dining room, gasping for air, and said: - “Gilbert! Hortense! You must take this baby and leave for Jamaica tonight!” - “You stole the baby from Bernard, are you crazy?!” Hortense screamed. - “Hortense, he is my son! Please if you won’t do it for me, do it for Queenie!” - “But what are you going to do?” asked Gilbert. - “Bernard will know who did this, he knows who I am. I will turn myself in. The police will then look for you, you are not safe here anymore, you must go!” Michael insisted. - “Very well, Hortense come, we are leaving immediately” answered Gilbert in a rush. Michael gave the baby to Hortense and added: - “I hope you will think a bit better of me, Hortense” - “But Michael, I’m sure there must be another way, you can’t do this to your son!” she cried. - “There is no other way, talk to my son about me, and tell him that I will always think of him, every minute of my days, for as long as I live” Hearing sirens in the distance, Michael ran out of the house briskly, without hesitation. Gilbert and Hortense successfully left England that night. During the trip, they thought that everyone’s dream, while leaving for the Motherland, didn’t go quite as expected. Happiness is often within our reach, we only need to open our eyes to see it surrounding us. Many years later, after a constant failure of the authorities to find the baby, the courts decided to release Michael, declaring he was too old to be of use anymore for the investigation. Michael decided to take his final trip, to see his friends and his son, in a Small Island.
(Part 3 : 1949) The following week, he sold his tumbledown house of London for a crust of bread. With the money, he bought two tickets to Boston, USA from where they would go to Montreal where Michael did live. He came back home happy after all the things he had discovered and planed. He arrived full of dream of his new life in Canada. He entered in Queenie’s room and said : « -I am aware of all your pain and sadness, and I know that I am responsible for that. ». Silence, he continued : « But now time had past and I think it is the moment for you and me to clear this situation together. I have decided to leave this country and go to Canada. » He asked with a confident voice : « Do you want to come with me Queenie ? ». Queenie open her eyes, stood out the bed and said with her trembling voice : « - Yes I think this is time to leave this country. » They both cried and Bernard took Queenie in his arms. Queenie accepted and seemed to be more and more lucid everyday thank to this new hope. Bernard didn't tell her that they were looking for Michael. They were just leaving the country where they both had suffered to much. (Part 4: 1949 + flash back 1947) Michael and his wife, a young and beautiful Canadian brown-haired girl from Toronto, lived peacefully on a small farm, in the south of Canada. But actually they weren’t alone, there was Celia Langley the ambitious Jamaican girl with them.
When he left England two years ago he didn't immediately come to Canada. First he came back to Jamaica where he met Celia Langley. It was during a hot morning, Michael was packing some stuff in the street. Celia just went out of the church. It was her mother’s funeral. She was wearing black clothes but actually wasn’t sad at all. Her mother prevent her to leave Jamaica. She was still thinking about it when she met Michael. She started : «- Michael ! I haven’t see you for years ! What are you doing here ? » Michael didn’t even look at her, and answered : « - I am leaving Jamaica for ever so I managed all my businesses here. ». When she heard these words her eyes began to shine : she had found a new way to leave this Small Island. She felt she was losing him over the discussion so she began to lie : she told to Michael that she was in danger of death because of an english officer. Hortense would had advised her to ask him for help. Michael accepted to bring Celia with him out Jamaica. He took this decision first because he was a good man with compassion, but mostly because he still had strong feelings for his child mate Hortense. The next morning they had took the ship to the Canada and after several adventures, they found the Michael’s farm then met Michael’s wife. Celia and Michael became very close as brother and sister.
(Conclusion) Finally Bernard never found Michael Roberts but he never regretted anything because Queenie became happy again. They had two children and decided to settle on the west coast of Canada near Vancouver where they had a shop. Celia died of a cancer five years later in 1953. Michael and her wife moved to Australia for new challenges.
(Introduction) It began three months after Queenie gave her child to Hortense at the end of the year 1948. Things weren’t fixed at all for the Blighs but they still lived together in their home in London. At the far end of Atlantique, Michael Robert and Celia Langley lived in the Canadian’s countryside. So what happened to these characters and How are they going to achieve them journeys ?
(Part 1 : end of 1948) It had been a very cold and sad winter for the Blighs, certainly the worst they had ever lived. Queenie had been devastated by the loss of her child : for these three months she had a big breakdown with a paranoiac behavior. Bernard was feeling very guilty and suffering from that situation. However, he tried everything to make her feel better. Finally, she used to stay the entire day at home without eating and of course she often cried.
Bernard didn't know how to handle the situation. He was simply desperate. He eventually decided to bring Queenie to the country house. He offered his wife a new life . He was trying to make her happy but nothing had ever really worked. After a reflection, he took the initiative to find Queenie's baby’s father even if it hurt him a lot : it was the symbol of his failures with Queenie. Moreover he was a black person : an inferior race according to him. But he was fed up with his weaknesses . He strongly thought that Michael would help her : his color of skin didn’t matter anymore. He began the investigations.
(Part 2 : 1949) He asked his neighbors in London, rummaged about it in her stuff. He finally found a picture of a black man. If a black soldier had slept into his house, that meant he was at least an officer because simple black soldier used to sleep in special military barracks. He decided to go, the next morning, to the military office of London the head quarter of the RAF. A beautiful red-haired girl was at the reception desk : Bernard asked with hesitation : « - I am… I was a RAF soldier. I am looking for someone, an officer. Is that possible to check a list of soldier who served during the war ? ». unfortunately the woman answered Bernard he was a simple soldier during war so he wasn't allowed to examine the RAF files. He was leaving the building very disappointed when he met one of his mates from war. Bernard shout his name : « -Henry ! ». The man turn around : he was a RAF colonel. Bernard began surprised : « - Time had changed since Brighton », Henry knew how horrible Bernard’s Brighton experience had been because he had met him there. He answered soberly : «- Yes a lot ... You know I am colonel now. » Bernard told his story after the war and Brighton and asked his friend for help to find this anonymous black officer. Henry accepted immediately because the poor Bernard inspired him pity. They both entered the ground-hall of the building and look for the list of black pilots. They compared the pictures, and one matched : Michael Roberts a black pilot shut down in the French territory; but he survived and was saved, then brought back to England thanks to French resistants. Bernard began relievedly : «- Finally I find him. » . But Henry noticed one thing in the file of Michael : « - But I think there is a little problem : He lives in Canada now » His crazy idea to bring back happiness to his wife took a new scale. He could start a whole new adventure on this unknown country with Queenie. He answered determinate : « So I will go there with Queenie and find Michael Roberts ! »
Intertwined destinies
ReplyDeleteBefore
One
Queenie
I wanted to show them my baby before they leave. 'He's a lovely boy', I told them. 'Good as gold. No bother at all'. I had told them that his name was Michael. Hortense flinched : it was the name of her dead brother. A few seconds later, she seemed to like my baby more than the first time. I didn't tell them why I had chosen the name Michael. I didn't want to rub it in.
'I hope you will be a happy family!', Gilbert said.
'I want him to have a better life, not to be prejudiced' I replied. 'I will give him to an orphanage helping for colored babies' I said, heartbroken.
They were staring at me, astounded by my talk. I added 'Bernard told me it was the best solution for him and for us. There, he will be raised and be prepared for a hard life in our racist society'.
They were still silent but Gilbert said angrily 'We must go, Hortense is tired'. And they left.
I came in the kitchen to see Bernard. He had disappeared. Just a letter on the table : 'I love you but life is too hard'.
Two
Gilbert
While we were walking to the house, I thought about my reaction towards Queenie. I had been nasty and I didn't understand why she was doing this. After analyzing my different experiences, I realized that a black child with a white woman was a difficult situation in this racist society.
A few months later I told Hortense that I wanted to see Queenie so I could apologize for my behaviour. I was about to knock at the door when she told me to come in. She was pale, thinner than ever, with dirty clothes. I could see in her eyes she had hit rock bottom.
'Where is Bernard ?' I asked.
She gave me a letter and cried 'He left me alone. He's certainly dead now'. She added hardly: 'My only consolation is to know Michael is in safe hands. I have nothing now'.
I answered that time would erase these terrible events. But she said it was impossible for her to forget. 'Now, tell me about you' she ordered.
So I told Queenie 'Hortense will attend once more a Teacher Training School. We were worried about you.' But she seemed to be tired, so I left her alone.
1960
Three
Michael
Yesterday, I celebrated my 12th birthday, at my orphanage, in the district of East End. I was alone in my little room. The only thing I could do was to learn my lessons. We weren't allowed to go out. Moreover, the former director preferred taking care of babies. He didn't like the older ones because no one wanted to adopt us.
Yesterday was also the first day with a new director at Windrush orphanage. Mrs. Joseph will also be my new teacher, just for me because I'm the oldest : the others are under 8 years old. They look at me strangely and I have no friends. My skin color is different but it's not a good reason. Mrs. Joseph and I have the same skin color but the children seem to like her. Why not me ?
The new teacher seems to be nice but a bit mysterious. We first met in her office. I told her my name and my age. She was quiet then and she ordered me to go away. I saw her taking a record, certainly mine. Maybe she knows my origins. Where do I come from ? Who are my parents ? Did she know them ?
This is the part two :
DeleteFour
Hortense
The first time I saw Michael, I was shocked. It brought back a bit of a déja vu time. His skin is like honey, like mine. I invested a lot in this association for Black orphans. It reminds me of my childhood with the Roberts and the name Michael is dear to me. My brother missed me a lot when I was younger. I looked at the record and I found a line of inquiry. Michael's father was black and left the white mother to go to Canada. He didn't know she was pregnant. It explains his color and why nobody wants to adopt him.
I told Gilbert my story. He had the same feelings regarding the child. We are still thinking about telling Queenie or not. She is in a very poor condition and we don't want her to be worse.
Michael and I get on well and I 'm attached to him now. Even if Queenie doesn't want to adopt him, we would probably do it : we earn enough for three people to live, our house is big and the most important : we are caring. Or maybe we can let him choose his family. He's old enough to say his feelings and his opinions.
Five
Queenie
Hortense and Gilbert came to my house, looking grave, solemn : I couldn't understand why. They told me they thought they had found my baby and asked me the name of the orphanage where I had left him. But, unfortunately, I couldn't remember.
One week later, we both met not saying who I was : 'He looks like his father', I admitted. Hortense also said he looked like her brother. She realized we were talking about the same person : Michael Roberts. She asked me plenty questions about him. She was very happy. After that, they said they would probably adopt him.
But they first proposed to take my son : I didn't know what to say. This was too violent for me. I needed time to think about it. I had an idea. So I said he would old enough to choose between them and me. If he chooses Hortense and Gilbert (he knows them better than me), then I would help them pay his studies : he would like to be a lawyer, like Gilbert's dream. He seems intelligent, serious. The child I had always dreamt of… I love him very much.
Six
Michael
Mrs. Joseph made me face a difficult choice : 'Would you prefer to live with me and my husband or your real mother ?' I first thought of going with Queenie, but she had left me at this orphanage for good reasons. It would be hard for her to raise me after these events. Moreover, I know Hortense and Gilbert better (it's hard to call them like this) so it would be easier for me to adapt their way of life. They told me the truth after visiting Queenie. I'm the son of Michael Roberts, so the nephew of Hortense. Queenie added that my father would have given me to his sister if I had been alone, because he was nice and made the right choices.
Therefore, I will keep contact with my 'mother' because I love her and she loves me. She would be like my godmother. She discovered her husband's will : he gave her a lot of money, saying it could be for my studies, if she finds me one day. She was happy to see Bernard had done a good deed. He wrote that he would have been a good father for me, that he regretted Queenie and apologized for his bad actions. So she told me she would send me £25 per month and I thanked her a lot. She kept her promise.
But I never saw her again.
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ReplyDeleteVIAL
ReplyDeleteArmand
1°S2
SMALL ISLAND – SHORT STORY
PART I ( text is to big ) :
It happened ten years after Queenie gave her baby to Hortense and Gilbert.
Michael was now ten years old, he was a tall kid for his age and he looked just like his mother with his tricky look and smiley face. All went well for him and his parents until they told him the truth. Gilbert talked to him like a father talk to his son, he told him all the story from the beginning in a clear voice. He explained to him how he met his mother and how they met an English woman : Queenie. He described Queenie as a pretty and elegant young woman. At the end of the story, Michael looked very choked and confused.
Dad, have you lied to me all this time ? Asked the boy
We did son but it was for you, I am explaining it to you today because I think you are now able to understand it. Answered Gilbert quietly.
Dad, do you … Oh you're not my dad anymore...
I made a mistake Michael...
Why ?
Because apparently you are not old enough to understand it.
The discussion stopped here and Michael ran out of his room. Gilbert was very disappointed about what happened and decided to leave Michael alone. It was a very hard thing to do to tell his son the truth. When Gilbert heard from Michael that he was not his dad anymore, Gilbert realised all the things he did for his son and started to get angry.
Hortense who was in the kitchen heard all the quarrel but she was too confused to say anything. Then she went into the living room and asked :
Gilbert I think we should have told him earlier.
Of course we should have but each time I wanted to I was not brave enough. Whispered Gilbert
I don't blame you for this Gilbert. Answered Hortense.
I know but each time it became harder and harder to tell him the truth, each evening I used to tell him a story before he went to bed and I should have told him this story, our story, much earlier. Said Gilbert.
Suddenly they heard a loud song coming from Michael's room. They ran to his room but the door was closed and the key was not there. Hortense shouted :
Michael ! Please open the door ! You know how we love you !
It lasted a whole stressful minute before Michael oppened the door. His face was bleeding and the wardrobe was down.
What happened ?! Shouted Gilbert.
Sorry dad and mom I love you too... I'm just confused and … Then Michael started to cry. Hortense took him and carressed him and she whispered in his ear :
Part II :
ReplyDelete- Sorry Michael, sorry for all. We should have told you all of this earlier.
The next day Hortense and Gilbert decided to take a walk around the town with Michael but when they called his name he didn't answer back. Gilbert went to Michael's room but he was not there. Hortense asked Gilbert where he could have gone. Suddenly they looked at each other and they understood.
Queenie lived alone since Robert and her decided to divorce nine years ago. She was cleaning her house when somebody knocked on the door three times. She opened the door and she saw a black child. He looked familiar to her.
Hi miss, are you Queenie ? Asked the boy.
Yes I am but who are you little boy ? Said Queenie.
I'm your son Michael ! Shouted the boy.
What ? Queenie looked very confused.
She told to Michael to come inside and she served him a cup of tea. The boy was sitting on the couch and he looked at Queenie closely. He thought for himself : How can my mother be white ?
How did you find me Michael ? Did your parents give you my address ? Asked Queenie.
No I stole the paper that you wrote for me in my parents room. Said the boy.
You shouldn't be here my boy. Your real parents are now Gilbert and Hortense, they raised you !
Why did you leave me ? What did I do not to deserve your love ? Shouted the boy.
Suddenly there was another knock. Queenie opened the door. It was Hortense and Gilbert who both looked exhausted. Queenie immediately understood why they were here.
Hi Queenie, we suppose that Michael is here is that right ? Asked Hortense in a despairing voice.
Yes he is in the living room, we have to talk. Answered Queenie.
Yes we have. Said Gilbert.
And they went to the living room. Michael was there, he looked down and felt guilty. He knew that he was going to have problems. But as soon as Hortense saw him she took him into her arm and gave him a hug. The kid was confused but comforted.
We were so frightened honey ! Don't do that again ! Said Hortense.
Yes Michael you shouldn't do that to your parents, if you wanted to see me you just had to tell them. Added Queenie with a cheering smile.
Michael smiled back and apologized. He said that he though that his parents wanted to hide the truth from him.
Of course they don't want to hide anything Michael. The day I gave you to them we agreed that we should tell you the truth when you would be ten years old. Said Queenie.
Michael if you want to see Queenie you just have to tell us and you can do it on your own it's your right and your choice. Said Gilbert.
This meeting between Michael and Queenie lasted the whole day and when the clock rang at 9P.M Gilbert and Hortense decided to go home. Queenie kissed Michael and told him
PART III :
ReplyDeletethat he was welcome if he wanted to see her. The child was happy because he understood that his parents loved him for real but another personn loved him too : Queenie his real mother.
When they arrived at home Michael asked his parents who was his biological father and Gilbert answered him with humor : « You must ask Queenie next time ! Because we don't know who he is actually ». The kid smiled and answered that it was not a problem because his real parents were them. Gilbert smiled and kissed Michael on the forehead and he whispered : « We love you soon, whatever it happens we will always love you ».
Until today Michael saw Queenie once a month, each time she told him her story and the story of his father : Michael. Michael grew up with three parents whom he loved equally. When he was eighteen years old Michael decided to add the surname of his real mother to his surname. Michael Joseph Bligh was proud of his story and he never forgot what happened to his family and the luck he had to have three parents.
(1132 words)
A long last love
ReplyDeletePart 1 :
London - 1960 - Four years after Word War II
By that time people have become accustomed to seeing mixed couples everywhere. Gilbert is now living with Queenie. Indeed Hortence left Gilbert after Queenie gave birth to a black baby. Queenie and Gilbert now live alone with their son. Previously, Hortence had thrown Gilbert out of their house with the baby. She was sure the child was his when he confessed to her one nigh that on one occasion he had slept with Queenie.
Twenty-one Nevern Street in SW5 - London – 1960
Gilbert is sitting on the balcony with his son, Michael. They are talking about his mother. He thinks that he is old enough to understand the situation. Gilbert says “Son, I have something to tell you, but first, what do you think about Queenie ?” The little boy answered seemingly worried “She is nice, generous and kind to me, but sometimes you look sad with her dad, what's the matter ? and where is mom ” ? “I know it's difficult to admit, but Hortense isn't your biological mother. I made a terrible mistake during the war... You know, Hortense was in Jamaica, I didn't know if I would survive and return to my home country, I was depressed so …” he replied, fearing his son's reaction. But there was a long moment of silence. Gilbert loves his son more than everything and this waiting seemed interminable. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and Michael looked at them as if his father hadn't said anything to him. Michael finally answered “Why are you telling me all this ? What's the point Dad ?” Gilbert tried to say it in a way as to be clear without hurting his son : “Michael, try to understand please, I'm going to tell you why we live here with Queenie and why Hortence isn't with us. Son, my terrible mistake was to have a baby Queenie, I slept with her one night. You have to understand and please don't judge me. You said that she is a nice person and it's true, she was good to me, and we were both lonely, she was a very good friend and we enjoyed each other's company. Son, Queenie is your mother. ” Michael thought for a moment, then, he had a very strange reaction. His father was surprised. He smiled for a while and said “ Oh it's so funny ! I have two mothers ! I'll be hugged twice, have more cakes to eat and many more gifts” !” Gilbert laughed and understood that it's not time to talk about that, he wasn't old enough but nevertheless it was a first step. He was relieved and suggested they play. However, even if Gilbert was sure that it wasn't the right time to talk about Michael and his origin, several events will come against this decision.
At the Post-office – London -1960
Queenie was going to post a letter when suddenly she made a surprising encounter. Michael Roberts was standing in front of her, with his big white smile. He exclaimed loudly “ Queenie ! I'm so happy to see you ! How are you ? “ But Queenie was surprised and said slowly “ I didn't expect to see you again” Michael was smiling as usual and invited her for a walk like they used to do. They talked a lot and Queenie was happy to see that nothing had changed in Michaels personality. He was the same man she loved during the war. She told him about her difficult situation with the little Michael, Gilbert and Hortence after Bernard's death. But Michael tried to make her laugh and she enjoyed that, so she invited him for dinner.
Part 2 :A long last love
ReplyDeleteA Few hours later - Twenty-one Nevern Street in SW5 - London – 1960
When Queenie got back home, she was smiling and singing. She prepared everything for Michael's arrival. He arrived and all the family went to the living room to have a drink. Michael speaks : “ Thank you for inviting me into your beautiful house. I really expected to see both of you and to meet this young boy who has the same name as me. It's fun ! Isn't it Michael ?” “ Yes !” he replied shyly. Then, everybody moved to the dining room to eat and talk. Although Queenie, Michael and Michael laughed together, Gilbert was unhappy. He was really jealous because of complicity between them, and the fact that Queenie called her baby after her first love. He hadn't thought of this before and he felt sad, but Queenie didn't pay him any attention. He didn't want to interfere in the their happiness but then, he thought about his son. It's not time to have an argument, but during diner he wondered if he should talk about that. Unfortunately something made him lose his temper. Gilbert asked abruptly Michael “ What's that mark on your neck ?” He replied politely “ It's a birthmark man, what's wrong with you, why are you angry like that !” Gilbert became upset, he rose from the table, broke his plate and shouted a lot of insults. No one understood Gilbert's behaviour, not even Queenie. On one hand, Gilbert wanted to know the truth, but on the other hand, if they talked about that, his son would be lost and unhappy. Everybody was expecting Gibert to reply, but for a while he said nothing. The little boy was terrified, nobody understood what happened until Gilbert mentioned in tears “ Look at the neck of your son and try to explain to him all your mistakes and who is his real family, his real father. I'm not able to do that, It's too hard for me. I love him more than everything now, but you lied to me. He's not my son, he deserves to know the truth. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think. You're horrible, you're a monster Queenie. I lost everything because of you.” Then he continued crying, but nobody talked, he left the house.
Michael was touched by the revelations and felt sorry for the lost little boy, who didn't realise what had happened. Queenie decided to wait and explain to him everything and took him in his bed. After, Michael and Queenie talked all night about their feelings and future, to find the best solution for the child.
One year later – In Jamaica – 1961
Gilbert is standing in front of the sea and thought about the year that had just passed. He had returned to Hortence's house to explain about his the situation, but she didn't trust him. He went to Queenie's house to see little Michael several times. Now Queenie lives with Michael and their son, they are happy, it's finally a long last love. They explained the situation to their child, it was hard but now Michael understands a little bit even if he is sad not to see Gilbert and Hortence anymore. Queenie explained to Gilbert that it's better for Michael not to see him for a while, so he can have a balanced life. So this year, he lost his love, his son and his friend. Now he is in Jamaica again to see Celia, his first love, because he is depressed. Unfortunately she doesn't want to see him because she too has a new life and a new husband.
First Gilbert betrayed Celia with Hortance when they went to England, and then he betrayed Hortence during the war with Queenie. Finally he is now alone, and he deserves it because honesty is always the best policy.
Agnès Michotey 1S2
(Part 1)
ReplyDeleteSearching for somebody
The following events happen long after the end of Small Island, in an alternative story.
Queenie
I woke up and had a pain in my chest. It was snowing outside. I turned to my left and as usual, I saw no one by my side. I thought I would lose this silly habit by now. Lately, the days were getting colder and colder, and it aggravated my health. I even had coughing fit, during those moments I could feel my heart throbbing violently, shaking my whole body. Thankfully, Michael always took care of me. He’s so young yet so mature and responsible. He’s grown so much that I’m kind of glad Bernard is not here to see him, he wouldn’t bear it, I know I shouldn’t be happy about his death. He died of a heart attack the night after he discovered the baby. It was a relief to me. I didn’t have to give it to Gilbert and Hortense, so I kept my child. Bernard said he would raise him and take responsibilities for his absence, but I’m sure he wouldn’t sustain the idea of even touching him.
Michael
A loud noise from the street forced me to get up, I was still tired and sleepy but it was morning already. I decided to take a shower and went out to buy some medicines for Mom. She can’t go out because of the snow. I’m 20 years old now, and life is pretty harsh, but I cope with it. It’s not like I have any other choice either. Strangely, on the way to the chemist’s, a woman caught my shoulder and stared at me with a confused expression. Then she released her grasp and ran away with tears in her eyes. I thought it was pretty rude of her to do so. It’s weird but I think she looked a bit like ... Nevermind, I still had to buy medicines. When I came back, I gave Mom her medicines,
“By the way, who was my father ?” I asked,
“I already told you, he was a soldier and died during the war”, she answered,
“You never told me his name ?” I asked,
“Come on, Michael, he’s dead and gone, why are you asking this ?” she said angrily,
“Oh, it’s nothing … really … don’t worry about it”, I said, still thinking about that woman.
Hortense
I can’t remember the last time I saw someone from Jamaica. It’s been almost two decades now since I came to England. I don’t know why this is coming back to me now of all time, maybe it’s just all the good memories I spent with Gilbert. Unfortunately, now he’s gone and here I am, mourning at his grave. On this walk, I encountered somebody with a familiar face, a young boy, he astonishingly looked like Michael. I stopped him but I didn't have the courage to say anything, after all he was probably just a tourist. The days following, I searched for him, going back to the exact same place, hoping to meet him again, and then one day I did. I quickly stopped him and asked him what was his name, he told me “ My name is Michael”. I realised he was Queenie’s son and everything became clear, now.
Michael
Here I am again, stopped by this woman but this time I actually had a question for her. “Do you know who this person is ?” I asked desperately showing her the only picture I had from him. She said “...Michael”,
“Yes, that’s my name, but I’m asking about his” I was starting to think she was really crazy.
“I told you his name, he’s called Michael” she answered crossly,
I was shocked by what I heard, I finally understood why my mother never wanted to tell me his name.
“How do you know that ?” suddenly eager to know everything about him.
“Come to my house and we’ll talk about it”, I then followed her and she told me how they were raised together in Jamaica and that he died at war.
“Oh, so he really died at war“ I was actually disappointed and thought he was just another hero. She cheered me up by telling me that his body was never actually found, so perhaps he survived. Who knows ?
(Part 2)
ReplyDeleteMichael
Later that day when I returned home I asked Mom if she was really sure about father’s death. She was startled, “Why this question again ?”, I told her everything about Hortense and Michael. she laughed so hard, I was starting to worry about her lungs. She finally said “Well, now I guess you know where he is ?” while smiling. My confusion was starting to reach a whole new level.
“What, he’s not dead ?” I asked one last time.
“Of course not, he’s in Canada, I don’t even remember why he left in the first place” she said looking at my face, “You two look so much alike, It’s incredible”
Happiness, it’s the only word I can find to describe how I felt at the idea of having a father still alive, Even though I didn’t exactly know where he was. I was still overwhelmed by the desire of seeking him. I needed to know. I wanted to know. I was sure he would somehow fill this gap. He will. He will surely come back with us.
One month later, I’m ready to go, on this beautiful journey to the unknow. I’m so thrilled about it, my heart is pumping from excitement, the truth is near and I’m finally reaching it. I prepared everything for Mom, Hortense told me she would take care of her.
The travel was pretty long, all my excitement was gone now, nevertheless my determination hadn’t been tarnished. Thus, my searching began. I searched for him by going to several houses and places asking if anybody knows a Michael, which was pretty confusing for people who asked me who I was, right afterwards. Most of them must have thought I had gone mad. One even said “Searching for yourself, fella ?”. Luckily I had brought the photo, otherwise it would have been a lot more difficult.
After several months, seeking relentlessly every nook and cranny, I was beginning to lose hope of ever finding him, so I started questioning myself, “What if he’s not in Canada anymore ? What if he went to some other country ? What if I’m searching for nothing ?”. However, just when I was starting to sink in despair, I found something...
I knocked on a door, thinking “ If it’s not here, I’m done”. A blonde came to opened the door and I felt something. She looked a bit like my mother.
“Hello”, she had a marvelous smile
“Hi, I’m searching for this Michael“ I asked, showing the photo, and sensing I was close,
“Michael..., Michael is gone…” she said with her smile vanishing,
“ Oh, where is he, then ? just when I said it, her message came to me. ”Oh, I understand…”. I turned my back and decided to leave for good.
She asked one last question “I’m sorry, but who are you ?”
“Michael” I just said, “My name is Michael”.
Marie-Automne Laverger 1°S2
ReplyDeleteSMALL WORLD - Part one
1948
Fifty-eight
Bernard
They were leaving. Gilbert told me. At last ! I had got rid of those two darkies. But one more problem was left, about another coon. Could hardly blame Queenie. But I won’t let my wife keep that baby Michael. So I went downstairs to hear Queenie’s point of vue.
‘Tell me Queenie, what will you do with the baby ?’ I asked.
‘If you don’t mind, it’s my baby and I intend to keep him. I know his colour is a problem, but we will protect him ! Won’t we ?’ Queenie said.
‘Don’t you see, you, silly girl ? What will our neighbours think after that ?’
‘Stop shouting Bernard ! I only want him to be happy, so he has to be raised by his mother !’ she answered back.
‘I know Queenie, I know, but he has nothing to do with us ! A baby of this sort can’t stay with us !’
Useless conversation. She would hear nothing. I left her alone… went outside for a walk.
Before
Fifty-nine
Michael
‘Me proud of my uniform. Me proud to serve the Mother Country, here in India. Aren’t you Maxi ?’ I said, to start a conversation with my friend.
‘Of course I am ! But I miss my lovely family’ answered Maximilian, ‘my wife’s pregnant…’
‘Oh yah man ! Me parents dead and I don’t wan’ go back but I’m so hungry for me Jamaican food !’
‘So you’re from Jamaica Mike ! Where is it ?’
He had given me a nickname -Mike- just like all new soldiers he met. Cha, I not gon’ keep that name for long !
‘Yah, I’m from this small island in the Caribbean ! Where you think it was, man ?’ I answered.
‘I thought it could be in Africa ! Sounds like a country in Africa !’ he retorted.
‘Cha, you white men you don’t even know where it is, but please don’t say could be in Africa, anywhere else, but not Africa !’
We were interrupted by a bomb exploding just next to us. I thought my ear was about to explode too ! Just had time to jump in the trench, like we always did.
A few days later, I learnt I would be an airman, a rear-gunner somewhere over France. Sounds like a hero -airman-. As I was leaving the camp, after my farewell to Maxi, I heard him saying to a newcomer : ‘Hello Pop’ !’
1948
Sixty
Queenie
I’d waited for Bernard to come back from his walk. For so long I had figured out all the possibilities in my head. There are some words you say that can change two lives forever. Those words have to be chosen in the most careful way. What I was about to tell him would make him happy, for sure. But what will my baby say in ten years ? Maybe he would think his mother was too proud to keep him. How will I bear that ? No mother wants her child to say : ‘I am black, my mother’s white and that’s why she didn’t want to keep me.’ I was so stressed waiting for Bernard that I began to say loudly : ‘In Herefordshire, Hertforshire and Hampshire hurricanes hardly ever happen.’ Footsteps. The door crackles. He was back.
‘Hello Bernard. I know you’re right. I know I have to give him away .’ I told him, as if I was begging.
‘Great Queenie ! You have reasonned yourself !’ He interrupted me.
‘Let me finish Bernard. It’s a big decision for me and the baby. I want him to be adopted by a family I already know, not by unknown persons. But before I give him, I would like to spend time with my baby, to rest for a while, to have a break, to go somewhere. Will you come with us Bernard ? Where could we go ?’
‘I think it’s a good idea Queenie ! It’s been a long time since our last journey. Let me see. Maybe we could go to Brighton, it’s a city in the south, by the sea. It would be an opportunity for us to see Maxi’s house. He was a soldier in India too but he’s dead now. And I spent two years in Brighton when I came back from India.’
SMALL WORLD - Part two
ReplyDelete1948
Sixty-one
Hortense
‘Good morning Mrs Joseph’.
‘Hello sweetie, could you be so kind as to call your friends, class will start in a minute !’
They were all refugees, all those children who had lost their house or their parents, whose father had not returned from the war, they all had found a loving teacher in our house. They would all look at me, eager to learn, and they deserve it. I always put my best clothes on to welcome my pupils, almost my daughters. A beautiful house it was, I was so proud of my husband who had fixed it, who had installed a door bell, my so kind Gilbert Joseph. He just noticed I had gained weight ; English food or…
1948
Sixty-two
Queenie
That’s it, we were going to Brighton ! I was very pleased Bernard had agreed. We took the train. For two hours, I was just sitting near my so white husband, watching the back of his neck, and my so brown baby, with his smooth brown skin… reminded me of his father… and people staring at us… When we left the station, I was happy to walk in the streets, to go on the famous Brighton pier and to feel the refreshing seaside air.
Then Bernard lead us up the station, next to the graveyard, to a modest house, painted pale blue.
‘It used to be Maxi’s house’ he said, ‘long gone now. Let’s sit on the bench there.’
We were watching the house, Bernard recalling war souvenirs, speaking of his departed friend, when I saw him, or them I would say. Someone long forgotten, someone from the past, but someone so present to my mind. He was walking up the street, a woman clutching at his arm. They stopped in front of the house, watching, hesitating. I would recognise anywhere that dark skin, soft lips, that hair which brushed gentle as an angora jumper. I grabbed baby Michael, rose to my feet and ran to him. He was standing in front of me, and his eyes would look at me, at the baby and at me again, unbelieving. My long lost Michael was there, at last. He too had wanted to see Maxi’s house. He had come to Brighton on a honeymoon. He had been wounded in India and could no longer have a baby. I could see in his eyes that he knew it all. He was fascinated by the little brown face, the small hands, the little mouth so pink inside when it opened to yawn.
‘His name is Michael’ I told them. ‘Take care of him’ I said, smiling between my tears. ‘I loved him as I did his father, but he needs a real caring family now. Good bye.’
I gave them the most precious thing I had, a part of my heart, and I ran away to the bench, where my husband was waiting for me.
1218 words.
Queenie: Michael’s short life
ReplyDeletePart 1 :
First of all, when I gave birth, I first thought of giving my baby to Hortense and Gilbert because of Michael’s dark skin. However, I decided to keep him, hoping my husband would be kinder with his ‘son’, Michael.
Bernard began to be more understanding and in fact, loved Michael. Nevertheless, one day, an important event happened. Indeed, Michael was twelve and on the day of his birthday, he asked his father why he didn’t have the same skin color as his father. Bernard didn’t know what to answer to this question because during all Michael’s life, he had lied to him. Nevertheless, he decided to tell him the truth and the entire story.
Michael was shocked and didn’t believe what he heard. He began to cry and decided to leave his house and to look for his real father. I decided to go with him because after twelve years, I, Queenie Bligh, was still in love with him. So, first, we went to Jamaica. We walked for a long time to find him but we finally didn’t succeed. However, we met Gilbert again who was with another person who was not Hortense! I asked him: “Where is Hortense, Gilbert? Who is this woman? “.
Gilbert answered sadly: “Hortense killed herself one year ago. She didn’t explain to me why… I don’t understand Queenie! Did I do something wrong? She just let a paper on which was written: ‘It’s Michael’s fault ‘. I don’t understand! Who is this Michael, except her favorite name? I’m quite desperate, so this woman here is my sister, my family is more important now… “.
I didn’t know what to answer to this tragic event. It was really strange to see Gilbert like this; he seemed to have lost his happiness and good humor. Moreover I thought, first, if it because of baby Michael. Had Michael done something wrong? No, it can’t be that because Michael, my baby, didn’t know Hortense. I replied to Gilbert: “I’m really sorry for you, you can count on me but I have to go now, I’m looking for Michael’s father! “
We continued our way a long time, when suddenly I recognized ‘tall ‘Michael in front of the beach. I ran to him and began to cry. Michael looked at me and said: “What are you doing here? “.
I answered with angrily: “I’m here because you have a child you know that? He would like to meet you.”
Michael was really surprised to see us because he had begun a new life with another woman and he had a child, so he started to explain to me very calmly: “Queenie, I don’t want to upset you but after I went to Canada at the end of the war, I began a new life here. You and your child are not my concern, it’s not my problem. What I said was not against you but that’s life.”
I couldn’t believe what I heard, I was really upset and I slapped him. However before going back to England with ‘Michael Junior’, I asked him if he knew someone called Hortense. Michael said: “Yes, I know Hortense she was like my sister but she killed herself a few weeks ago I think so… It’s really bad. I don’t know why she did that but I think she was in love with me! “.
I replied nothing but after a moment I began to understand and all was clear. During all this time, Hortense and I had a link, who was Michael and we didn’t know that! In fact, Michael was just a womanizer when he was young and we had both fallen into the trap.
So, I and ‘Michael Junior’ decided to go back to England because we didn’t have anything more to do in Jamaica but after a few minutes, ‘Michael Junior’ said: “Why didn’t my father want to see me ? “ I didn’t know what to say because it was just because Michael was selfish. I said his adoptive father was Bernard because he had taken care of him since he was a baby. Then, we decided to stay a few days in Jamaica to visit.
Part 2 :
ReplyDeleteWhat a surprise when I came back to England and saw Gilbert in my house speaking to Bernard. I asked him what he was doing here. He said: “I’m here because I would like to warn you. Hortense’s family and even my family thought she killed herself because of your child. I know it’s not ‘Michael Junior’ because he is too young to do anything terrible. So, I defended your child and my family chased me from my home. So, I would like to ask you if I could stay in your home because I have nowhere else to go… I have some money, if you want. “
Before I could speak, Bernard said to Gilbert there was no problem if he would like to stay there.
I was really surprised to hear that because Bernard had been racist for twenty years, about twenty years ago! Nevertheless, after a few minutes I realized that my child was in danger because some people thought he was some kind of a murderer. We decided to keep Gilbert with us and to wait for Hortense’s and Gilbert’s family. I was really afraid for my child because he was all my life.
One day, five years later, the two families arrived at Bernard’s house. A fight which was really violent took place. The results of this fight were really tragic: Bernard broke his arm, Gilbert lost an eye, I had bruises everywhere, and ‘Michael Junior’ was killed. I couldn’t believe, I cried a lot and felt depressed for about two years because I seemed to have anything to live for now. It’s really hard to see that people who are relatives can fight like this. I, Gilbert and Bernard were really courageous to do violent thing just for justice because we knew ‘Michael Junior’ was innocent.
Ten years later, Bernard and I began a new life with a newborn who was a girl named Cecilia.
Gilbert also began a new life and we didn’t hear from him for a long time. Cecilia was generous, kind with Bernard and me. We decided to tell her Michael’s story when she was twelve because we didn’t want to lie again. We showed her all the pictures so that we always thought about Michael. Many people will think Michael (Junior) was a devil because he was black, but I didn’t want to forget him. It was really hard but this event changed all our lives, Bernard and me. Indeed, Bernard was racist, so he hated black people like Gilbert before I had Michael. Before the war, I was like a princess but after the war and what had happened with ‘Michael Junior’, I became stronger. In fact, we suffered a lot, but we learnt also many things like to be more understanding.
After a long time, when Cecilia was twenty-one years old, she announced she would marry a man named Bernard and this man was black. We were really happy and we invited Bernard’s parents for dinner. When they arrived, we couldn’t believe what we saw, his parents were Gilbert and a woman named Celia Langley.
From this event, all was perfect: Cecilia and Bernard were really happy like us!
THE END
Clara Barrau 1S2
Part 1
ReplyDeleteIt was all about fate
1948
A few weeks earlier…
The moment Bernard saw his wife’s new born, he completely lost his senses. Indeed, the little boy hadn’t a white creamed skin. He looked like if he had been soaked in a big bowl of liquid black chocolate.
At that time, Hortense and Gilbert were packing. It was their last afternoon in M. and Mrs. Blight’s house. It was a chapter that ends, but a new life ahead of them.
*
Once again, Queenie and Bernard were having a huge fight about the baby. People could hear their loud voices from the street. Unlike years before, people didn’t want to visit anymore. But suddenly, someone knocked on the front door. Three harsh knocks. It’s Bernard who left Queenie alone in the kitchen to open the door. In front of him stood an impressive man, his shoulders were very developed and he had black sharp eyes. The man was wearing a brown leather jacket and a hat was jammed on his head.
“What do you want nigger?” asked Bernard.
“Good morning sir, let me introduce myself first …”
“What are you doing on my porch?”
“Michael!” interrupted a thin voice.
Queenie was standing behind Bernard in the corridor, her hand grabbing a chair like if she was going to fall down. Her eyes were bulging and her mouth slightly opened. Michael was looking at her; nothing had changed in his attitude, except his eyes that were full of shining stars.
“I came back for you Queenie.”
At that moment, the blond haired girl was sure. It was the man outside her house that was her soul mate. “If two souls are meant to be together, no matter how long it takes, they will eventually found each other, to end up together.” she thought.
“In Herefordshire, Hertfordshire and Hampshire hurricanes hardly ever happen.” she whispered.
*
Bernard had cried, he had begged, but nothing could have changed Queenie’s mind. She was supposed to leave the house in the morning, taking the baby with her, leaving her husband alone. She was ready to go wherever Michael would go. “What a shame” thought Bernard. He couldn’t find sleep; his head was on a worn pillow, his eyes looking vaguely at the window. A drop of perspiration was slowly flowing down his forehead. All he could think of was Queenie, but she wasn’t his anymore. “My father passed away, I haven’t got any close friend or close family. I used to live for Queenie. I haven’t been a good husband apparently; I didn’t show her how much I love her. I am such an idiot. I hate myself, I hate him. I hate darkies even more. I can’t stand being myself anymore. What I am living for? I’m so ashamed of myself. I just lost the woman of my life, I hate myself. I hate myself.” Bernard was feeling so desperate, he had always been a strong man but this was too much to handle. He felt like there was only one solution left.
*
Part 2
ReplyDeleteIn the morning, Queenie got up with a hidden smile on her face. At that moment she was truly happy, knowing that she was going to start a new life with the two people that she loved the most. Michael and their baby. The blond woman spread perfume around her and hit the stairs, but when she came down; she let herself fall down. It was hard for her to breathe, “What have I done?” she whispered. She repeated four times this sentence, louder each time. She was yelling in the end, her voice made the house shake. And she was trembling herself. Bernard was in front of her, lying on the floor, his neck was red like blood and his face so pale that his dark eyes made Queenie even more scared. A written letter was next to the body:
“You gave me a black son; you are leaving me for a black man. I won’t be able to leave the house after that, I feel so ashamed. But the worst thing is, I’ve loved you since the very first day Queenie. Always have, always will.”
Queenie burst into tears; she crushed the letter in her hand and started scratching herself and grasping her hair. After a while she laid on the floor next to Bernard, interlaced her fingers around his and she closed her eyes.
“People say that the worst thing is not to commit suicide but to think that it actually is the only solution. I made him think of that.” she thought.
But it was too late.
*
The week after that, Queenie was sitting on a chair next to the window, holding her son all wrapped up in blankets. Michael was standing in front of her, his arms crossed.
“Now what, Queenie?” he asked.
“We cannot be together after what happened, Michael.”
“I came back for you, don’t you remember?”
“Didn’t you hear what I've just said?”
“I wish I hadn’t.”
The atmosphere was tense. It felt like everything was falling apart, it felt like maybe the two lovers weren’t supposed to end up together. Queenie’s eyes started to be filled with tears again but she was a strong person so she didn’t cry. Instead she kissed her baby’s snub nose and smiled.
“Haven’t you found a name for him yet?” asked Michael who was sadly looking at his son.
“I haven’t.”
“Queenie look at me.”
He took a deep breath and launched:
“I know you need some time to yourself after what happened. But… if you truly love me Queenie, please meet me in exactly a year on the bench where we sat the last time we saw each other. At sunset. I’m going to leave now; I hope to see you there.”
Michael put his hat on and started to walk away from the living room. But suddenly, he stopped and turned around. “I like James.”
Queenie didn’t say a word, her heart was pounding but she was trying to look as calm as possible. When the door slammed a thrill ran through all her body, from her head to her toes. “We’re going to be okay, James.” she whispered.
*
Part 3
ReplyDeleteNine months away from Mrs Blight’s house, Gilbert and Hortense were doing just fine and dreams finally came true. Hortense was a teacher following eight months studies and she couldn’t be more thankful to her husband who helped her to achieve this project. The couple went to so much trouble together that they were now inseparable. And the most important; they lived in a big house with a bell to ring. “Ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling” was Hortense’s favourite sound, it made her smile every time.
Sometimes two people are forced to spend time together to realise that they belong together, sometimes they have to stay apart to realise that they cannot live without each other.
*
1949
A year passed. Three hundred and sixty five days.
Queenie woke up without knowing what to do, she knew it was “the” day, but she hasn’t decided yet. “What if Michael isn’t there himself?” A million questions were popping in her mind, causing her a headache.
Anyway, she put on a lovely dress that matched perfectly with the colour of her skin and she delicately brushed her hair. The sun made it look like gold.
She had been thinking all day long, it was still hard for her to think of Bernard because she blamed herself for his death. Late in the afternoon Queenie went to the cemetery to put some flowers on Bernard’s grave. She was feeling blue and stayed there for a while, her tiny white shoes in the fresh grass. The sun was going down, time was slipping away and it was getting darker and darker. “It’s time for me to start a new chapter Bernard.” She whispered calmly. Then, she looked up at the sky, a smile cracked on her face and she said:
“I hope you won’t be mad at me from up there.”
The blond haired woman raised a little bit her dress and started to run to “the” bench. When she arrived, no one was there. Her legs were trembling and her eyes looking everywhere. A tear rolled down her cheek but all of a sudden, a hoarse voice coming from behind made her warm and freeze at the same time.
“I knew you’d come” he said.
Thaïs Ayache 1°S2
Part 2
ReplyDeleteLater they came back downstairs and Michael shook Gilbert's hand and thanked the couple for taking care of Queenie. Afterwards he explained the reasons for his presence and they had a long conversation about their experience through war and the life in England. One week later, Michael and Queenie returned with the baby to the house where they met for the first time. Queenie seemed to be quite happy again. At that moment they were very close friends with Hortense and Gilbert. They used to see each other’s almost every day and talk for hours. One of the main themes of their talks was the racism and the discrimination they faced in England. They also liked to share their projects for the future. Michael and Gilbert became friend, they spent more and more time together, they got along well maybe because they had a similar life path: they both left their country of origin. For their part, Queenie and Hortense were also related, first because of Michael. They enjoyed chatting around a cup of tea in afternoons.
A few weeks before Christmas, Michael and Gilbert went downtown to buy some meat for dinner. They entered a big store and while they were waiting in the queue, they were looking at a beautiful poster representing a beautiful landscape of New Zealand.
They came back to Gilbert’s house where the women had already begun to cook. At table, Hortense explained that when she was young, one of her dream was to live in England but she realized that it wasn't as welcoming as she thought. Life was quite though for « colored people » here. Queenie added that English people always treated strangers badly even those who served the country during war. Suddenly Michael suggested « Why don’t we go and live in New-Zealand? ». Then he told the others what he and Gilbert saw. First it sounded like a strange idea, but Michael managed to convince the others. After all, maybe in New-Zealand, people weren't full of prejudices yet. So it was a chance, they shouldn't miss. In the next weeks the two couples saved up some money and prepared the departure. As they travelled, they were all full of excitements and impatient to start their new life and this time again on an island.
They arrived in January in Auckland, a very nice city; it was quite warm at that time. In fact seasons are the opposite to those in the northern hemisphere. They moved to White cliffs, a remote hilly place in Canterbury region. Then Michael and Gilbert decided to buy two houses in the same big field separated by a wooden bridge which cross a little stream.
The two men also started to breed sheeps and to sell wool to earn some money. Hortense managed to obtain the right to teach and became a teacher in a small school in Christchurch. And Queenie worked in a small grocery store with her son.
After a while, Gilbert and Hortense had a child. Hortense never felt so happy, and Gilbert couldn't ask for anything more. On their side Michael and Queenie got married. They were joyful and she was particularly grateful for what the Roberts had done for her. She had forgotten Bernard. Years went by and children grew up.
Once they were old enough, they left their parents to study in Auckland. Then they separated and led their own lives. Queenie, Hortense, Michael and Gilbert lived happily for decades and stayed at last together. Once Gilbert and Hortense received a letter from their son. He was about to marry a woman, from Brighton…
Island Lives
ReplyDeletePart 1
Few minutes after, Queenie gave birth to her baby. Behind the door her husband was furious. Four days later the House was calmer but now the atmosphere was terrible. Although he was very confused, Bernard went to talk to his wife. He said that he received a letter from a women he met in Brighton who was saying that she was expecting a child from him. He told Queenie that he understand her behavior, the war circumstances could explained her act. He wanted to apologize because he also did unforgivable things. Queenie had no sooner hear his last sentence than she burst into tears, and felt desperate. Then Bernard took the decision to leave and asked for divorce, it was for him the best option. Queenie remained alone with her baby in the house. From that moment she cried in her bed every day long, petrified. Fortunately, Gilbert and Hortense often visited her. They tried to console her but she was really suffering. Gilbert and Hortense were worried about her.
One day, Gilbert came to knock on the door. No one answered. He looked through the window and saw the shadow of a blunt object. He was first stunned, then nervous. He immediately entered the house through the window; Queenie was in the kitchen staring at a long blade. He moved in the room as fast as he could and hold back Queenie, then he threw the knife away through the window. At this time he really understood that Queenie was in danger. He was also very affected because he had a special relationship with her since she housed him when he has arrived from Jamaica and have had hard times. He thought that this situation couldn’t last any longer, so he quickly convinced his wife to accommodate Queenie at their home. Queenie didn’t get well so Hortense had to look after the baby. It was quite pleasant for her because she has always loved children. Meanwhile Gilbert was attentive and as usual very altruist so he made big efforts to make the house as comfortable and welcoming as he could for Queenie and her baby. Months passed, and life in the house became difficult. In fact Hortense and Gilbert started to argue because she couldn’t bear anymore the fact that Queenie was entirely dependent from them. She said that she had compassion on Hortense and was ready to help her; however she wanted to live her own couple with her husband. At these words, Gilbert stayed hopeful and believed that next months would be better.
One morning on a beautiful summer day the doorbell rang. Gilbert opened the door. A tall black man appeared and introduced himself as Michael Roberts. He politely asked if a certain Queenie lived here. At the same time, Hortense and Queenie arrived at the door. At the sight of this man they both passed out. The two men, shocked, came inside and Gilbert told him to bring Queenie on the sofa. When she woke up, she couldn't believe her eyes: she had Michael standing in front of her. She was speechless for a while then they went into the garden and started to talk. Michael said that when he was in Canada, he couldn’t stop thinking to her; it was too hard for him to stay there. He wanted to apologize for everything that happened to Queenie when he wasn’t here. He felt so guilty. His voice was thick with emotion. Meanwhile in a room upstairs, Hortense slowly came back to her senses, Gilbert was anxious. He felt lost between these people knowing each other’s so he requested some explanations. Hortense got off the bed and sat on a chair next to the window. She could see Michael kissing Queenie through the curtains. She told Gilbert about her childhood with Michael, their separation and her dream of seeing him again. She seemed to be embarrassed but sincere. Finally, she held her breath and said that Michael had an important place in her heart; and admitted to her husband that Michael was the only man she loved… until she met him. Gilbert’s face was pale, his eyes were wide opened. He didn’t know how to react. So Hortense reassured him and hugged him close to her. He sighed and felt dizzy.
"The Discovery of the truth"
ReplyDeleteChapter Sixty
Hortense
Part 1 :
Since Queenie gave us little Michael, I knew that the day would come, however, I was not prepared for it. Ten years passed, our cute colourful baby grew up and changed into a wonderful boy. I was preparing lunch, when I heard Michael running downstairs and stood in front of me, with the picture of Queenie, his face was full of questions and I locked answers.
- « Why is there this picture hidden under your pillow, with a word for me ? Who is she ? I have never seen her ! »
- « Sweetheart, Daddy will be back soon, we will answer you together... »
The minutes turned into hours, therefore, when Gilbert came home, he was my hero, because I was not able at all to tell Michael alone. However, my dear Gilbert left me the difficult part, he said that I was the only one who could announce it. So I took a deep breath, and I started to tell him, in an innocent way, all the story, everything since I met Gilbert, including the wedding, how Queenie and Gilbert met, the generosity of Queenie when she offered a room, our times together, Bernard and his racism, but most of all, his birth and what his mother did to keep him safe and cherished. Gilbert explained to him that we didn’t know yet who his real fatherwas, because Bernard was a white man, as Queenie.
He could no longer speak, but the tears falling down on his cheeks said more than any words could ever do. He was not angry, not disappointed, he was just so sorry for Queenie, alone with a man like Bernard. - « Let me see her Mum »
As I expected, he wanted to visit her, and even if the fear of losing him was terrifying, his happiness was and is still now stronger than anything else. Gilbert had an important meeting, he couldn't join us unfortunately. After he gave his lovely son a big hug, he took me in his arms and told me that whatever happened, we were his parents and he loved me more everyday.
We took the bus, and when I looked at the sky, with Michael asleep on my knees, I knew that nothing will be the same.
Bernard and Queenie didn't move on, the house was exactly the same as in my memories. Ten years ago, I was standing in front of this door, with thousand of dreams and hopes. The feeling when Michael rang the bell was definitely not the same actually. Nobody came to welcome us, that was really weird, Queenie hated leaving her house empty. The door was open so I pushed it, and then I saw the most horrible vision of my life… Bernard, lying on the floor like a corpse, around him, seven bottles of alcohol, a smell of sewer was hanging in the air, it was unbearable. I told Michael to wait for me outside, and I forbade him to enter. I felt his heart-beats, he was just in a heavy sleep, but then I discovered with horror some blood traces on the floor, far from the body of Bernard, and I started to imagine the worst. As any child of ten years old, especially a curious boy like Michael, he didn't listen me and he looked at this human body, in a monstrous way, during five minutes, in silence.
- « Is he Bernard ? My mother's husband? Does she love him mummy? »
- « It is indeed her husband, however I can say without any doubt that she never loved this man. We are going to ask the neighbours, maybe they know where Queenie is. »
Mr. Todd died soon after we left, the new owners were a black couple, I found this really ironic and I could see the old man rolled over in his grave. They were really nice, they told me that Queenie left the house in an ambulance about 4 hours ago and they gave me the address of the hospital, without mentioning a word about what happened.
Part 2:
ReplyDeleteWe took he bus right to Saint James Hospital. During on the way, I couldn't stop thinking and sending all my prayers to Queenie, couldn't erase the thought of the blood in my mind.
However, I had to pretend that everything was alright, because my cute boy was the most worried. When we finally arrived at the place, the Emergency were full, so we had to wait for more than an hour in the waiting room, some clinical cases were sickening … After that, a nurse came to take care of our case. We followed her to the room of Queenie, and she informed us that she was really tired and not in a good mood, her medical situation was unstable. She also said that a visit for her was expected in the evening. She left us all alone, in front of a big white door, and a cold silence surrounded all the long corridor. Nonetheless, as soon as we put a foot in the room, the sound of the electrocardiogram controlled the rhythm of the blood in our veins.
I was pretty sure, that if the nurse didn't drive me there, I wouldn't recognize the beautiful woman that I known well. She was covered in bruises all over, and she looks 15 years older. Michael found her beautiful, and I told him that his mother was the most gorgeous woman I have ever met. He couldn't stop looking at her belly, thinking of the nine months that he spent inside this place of love.
We both took Queenie's hands, to the extent that she woke up, kissed me, hugged tightly Michael and she was sitting, weeping on his shoulder.
- « My treasure, it's been a long time, you have become a wonderful boy, so proud of you. Thank you for everything Hortense... »
- « Everyone will be jealous at school, no one has a mother like you! »
- « My dear friend, why are you there, what happened? »
- « So many things you couldn't imagine, Bernard started to become alcoholic and to beat me. That was juste sometimes but it turned into always... »
- « Please forgive me, I should be ther with you, I feel guilty... You can not go back home with him, we have an empty room at our house, she is just waiting for you, as your love child do »
Queenie accepted straight away.
Then, suddenly, I heard someone knocking on the door, Michael opened it, and I couldn't believe what I saw, Michael Roberts was there, thousand memories, and I passed out.
I woke up slowly, I was trying to calm down, but it was definitely impossible at this moment.
I was alone in a white hospital bed, a nurse came in the room, told me that I passed out, and that my little boy was safe with the visitor of Queenie. That was unbelievable, I will never leave my boy with this liar. I stood up, and ran as fast as I could to Queenie's room, the nurse came after me but it was not a problem.
- « What the hell are you doing with my baby?! I don't know the reason of why you came, anyway, stay away from him, from me and I dare you to never come back »
- « Calm down Hortie, everything is fine, breath... »
- « I forbid you to call me that way, you don't have to be here with my friend and my son. »
- « I have a good reason actually! »
- « I'm listening ! »
- « I am his father. »
HURRICANES START, WHERE THE TRUTH ENDS
ReplyDelete1968, England, Finsbury Park, North London
It was Sunday morning and the smell of fresh pancakes filled the entire house. As usual, Hortense was preparing breakfast and setting the table. Then, she called her son, “Michael! Breakfast is ready, come downstairs!” Michael’s father, Gilbert, was sitting on the sofa reading the news. “Michael, come on! Hurry up, stop dawdling!” he said. “I’m coming in two minutes!” Michael answered. Hortense brought Michael up with gentle manners and in a religious inspiration. In fact, every Sunday she went to mass with him. Gilbert never joined them and refused to take a stand for this. He had his own Sunday activities. He obviously preferred to be in charge of the garden and it “refreshes his mind”, he affirmed.
It has been particularly difficult for both Hortense and Gilbert to become integrated in these new suburbs. Everyone naturally wanted to make a place for himself. Gilbert knew this and it was obvious that people didn’t want him to hold important responsibilities. The only job he was able to get was to become bus driver and it wasn’t enough for Hortense to go to the teacher-training college. It was only just enough to have some bread for dinner and to raise their son.
Back in 1948, England, Finsbury Park, North London
Hurricanes were not the only things Hortense couldn’t escape from. When the couple moved into their new house, their husband’s neighbor M.Welford died of old age. The Welfords were known to be very respectable and they used to live in comfortable conditions. They had no children, no descendants and no one could inherit their property. After several weeks, the newcomers got to know the old widow much better and they were totally at her disposal. One day, Mrs Welford offered Hortense some of her paintings. Then, she could sell them in order to make some money to go to her teacher-training college. Hortense was very embarrassed and she didn’t want to accept this offer but the old woman insisted and explained that she wanted Hortense to consider it as a gift for her kindness. This woman became attached to Hortense and her little family because she didn’t have one. Hortense didn’t know how to thank her but she promised her to come to her house every day and she was there for her if she needed anything.
Few days later, she joined college and began her studies. Nothing in the world could make her happier. Three years later, Hortense was qualified to teach English pupils: her dream finally came true, and the first person she went to see and tell this great news was Mrs Welford. The old woman was so proud and happy for Hortense and her family! It was the beginning of something great! Gilbert was also very proud of his wife and he was glad to know that a great teacher will be the mother of his son.
Through the years, Michael was very lucky to have a teacher for mother because she helped him several times at school and he received a successful education. When he grew up, he didn’t want to become a teacher but he wanted to study law, just like Gilbert. His father was very happy to see him do things that he wanted once but he couldn’t.
1968, England, Finsbury Park, North London
That Sunday morning 1968, Michael ran down the stairs, skipped a step and fell down. “Be more careful Michael Joseph!” shouted Hortense, “We are going to be late for mass”. Michael stood up and came to the table, caught a cup of coffee and sat on one of the chairs. “What’s wrong with you this morning Michael?” asked Gilbert. “What is going on? Did you not sleep well? Are you sick?” continued Hortense. All these questions definitely annoyed Michael, “I am totally fine, thank you”. Hortense put her coat on and waited at the door step. “Come on Michael, it’s time to go” she said. The Catholic Church was far from their house, they took the bus for more than thirty minutes.
This church was only for black people and everyone knew each other there. The priest knew Hortense and Michael well. That day, he pronounced the following prayer: “Dear Jesus, I pray that I honor my father and mother whom I shall never disappoint. Because disappointing parents means disappointing oneself, so please help me not disappoint them. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen”. The mother and son came back home after mass and for Michael the prayer had more importance than at first sight.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, that prayer started a hurricane in Michael’s mind. He already knew that Hortense and Gilbert were not his real parents and that they had adopted him, but then who were his real parents? That question started to haunt him. Hortense and Gilbert used to give news about Michael to Queenie: they sent her pictures, letters, and postcards. But she hasn’t seen Michael since she gave him to them. Bernard was never really curious about Michael, he never asked about him.
Gilbert was still sitting in the sofa, the newspaper on his legs. But he had fallen asleep when Hortense and Michael came back home.
“Gilbert!” called Hortense, “You haven’t moved from this sofa since this morning?”
“Oh I’m sorry, maybe I must have fallen asleep”
“Sure, look at your outfit! You’re still wearing your pajamas”
“Does it really matter? It’s Sunday”
“Please Mom and Dad!” said Michael, “Can I talk to you two?”
“Yes sure, what it is about?” answered Hortense
“Mom can you please take a seat?”
“Well, it must be something serious”
“Sort of, I would like to know something. Something I’ve never asked you before and I think I’m mature enough to know more about it now.”
“About what?” asked Gilbert impatiently.
“Well, you’ve always told me that I was adopted, and I’m very thankful for everything you did for me for these past twenty years. But it’s time for me now to get to know my biological parents, know who they are, where they live, and simply my story.”
“Why you want to know that now Michael?” asked Gilbert.
“The prayer of this morning gave me food for thought. As I said, I am very grateful for the home, the love and the education you both gave me. But it is the story of my life and I deserve the truth.”
“I know that you’re old enough to know this, but, Michael, if you’re not with these people right now, it is for good reasons.” said Gilbert.
“Gilbert, I think it’s time to tell him about his origins, we owe him this” said Hortense. She went into her room, opened her closet, took out a suitcase and pulled out an envelope. She held out the envelope to Michael. “Open it” she said. He hesitated but finally opened it and discovered a picture. It was the picture that Queenie put in Michael’s bag when she gave him to Hortense and Gilbert.
“Who is this woman? Is she…my mother?” asked Michael.
“Yes Michael, she is.” answered Hortense calmly.
Michael was staring at the picture, puzzled and lost. Was it possible that his mother was a white woman? Or was it a joke? And what about his father? Michael had thousands of questions in mind. Hortense started to tell him about when she and Gilbert came to England and received the help from this white woman, Queenie Bligh.
“Well, this woman, called Queenie Bligh, is my biological mother, right?” said Michael, “and is Bernard, her husband you told me about, my biological father?”
“That’s complicated son” told Gilbert, “Your mom, Queenie, had a “relationship” during the war and then, there you are! But we are not the best people to tell you more about your father.”
“So should I meet these people? Wait, that’s not a question. I want to meet them, as soon as possible. Today would be great. Do you have an address or something?” He looked to Hortense, and then to Gilbert.
“Yes of course” said Hortense. She opened the suitcase again, and took out a bit of paper with something written on it.
“Twenty-one Nevern Street” Michael read “Is it far from here?”
“A little bit, but we can take you there if you want” told Hortense.
“No it will be fine, I can take the bus”
“Sure Michael? It is not a problem for me, nor for you, Gilbert?” Hortense looked to Gilbert. He didn’t move from the sofa and he was looking at Michael.
ReplyDelete“I’m not very excited about this, Hortense” he finally said.
“Why? Michael has the right to know them! He is an adult and mature enough!”
“Yes, but we both know them, and especially Bernard! You know how he is! And that’s not the kind of person I want my son to meet.”
“Gilbert, you should be reasonable, you have to let him go, if it’s what he wants to do.”
Gilbert didn’t say more. That afternoon Michael was on his way. Forty minutes later he was on the bus, he arrived in front of Earls Court. He walked with a firm step to the door, raised his hand and knocked the door. Once. Twice. No one came. It was like nobody lived there. He took a few steps back and waited. “Try again Michael” he was saying to himself. He knocked the door stronger. But no answer again. “I’m wasting my time, there’s nobody here, it’s time to go back home” he said.
He moved back, eyes full of tears and walked down to the bus station. He crossed the street and at the same moment, a white woman opened the door. She looked out, wondering who had just knocked. Then, she saw the back of a black man, crossing the street. He turned back and she immediately recognized him. There he was. The son she has let go twenty years ago. He was tall and handsome. A singular face. He had her eyes and the same pointed nose. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. But she should have said something. Especially to save his life. She didn’t have the time to open her mouth and alert him to move from the middle of the street when a car hit him and knocked him down. Queenie screamed so loud that it made Bernard run instantly through the house to her side. “Queenie for Jesus’ sake what happened?” he said. Hurricanes brought Michael to life quickly. However, they ripped him out of the world even quicker.
ReplyDeletePart 1:
It was on the platform of Kings Cross Station, Queenie was waiting for Bernard who was coming back from India.
Bernard had sent in a letter to Queenie that she received the previous day. Queenie was in a pensive mood.
She was wondering how to tell him about the death of his father and the presence of a black baby who was not his.
When the train arrived, Bernard came out and he looked lost in the middle of the steam from the engines and the voyagers who were rushing toward him like a tide in a storm.
In his mind, he saw again what he had seen during the war and his hands began to tremble. When Queenie found her husband and ran to him, the latter didn’t recognize her for an instant and looked surprised.
Then, he said “Oh! Queenie! Is it you?” and began to cry uncontrollably.
Seeing his emotions, Queenie didn’t know how to react for a moment but feeling compassion for her, she held him in her arms and started to kiss him. Back in their home, they sat at the dining table to eat supper together.
Bernard remained mute like a dead man during the supper.
Some children were playing in the street and they set off a firecracker.
Hearing the explosion, Bernard fell from his chair onto the floor.
After Queenie picked him up, he began to explain the reasons for his behavior.
“During the war, I fought in terrible conditions and saw a lot of horrors.
I saw horrors like rapes.
I saw horrors like tortures.
I saw horrors like civilians massacred.
I am afraid to explosions because one day in 1945, all the soldiers in my company were killed when a bomb exploded in our tent.
When it was over, I was the only one who survived.
What remained of my friends were pieces of flesh and limbs scattered all over the ground. Then, I was sent to a lunatic asylum in New Delhi and I stayed there for three years.
During those three years, I was cured off post- traumatic stress and depression.
It was only in 1948 that I was considered sane and sent back to England.”
His account upset Queenie, who realized what Bernard had suffered during the war.
She decided to reveal to him the death of his father and the presence of the child.
When he heard this, Bernard said to her that she had betrayed him and began to cry for his dead father.
He decided to leave the house and abandon his wife.
Feeling no desire to go back to his home, Bernard found a cheap room in a dilapidated hotel.
Not knowing what to do and overwhelmed by the trauma of war, he began to drink.
Now, he lived only to drink.
Beer, Scotch whisky, Irish whiskey, bourbon, gin, brandy, cognac, rum, kirsch, schnapps, vodka and wine, he drank them all.
Queenie, on the other hand, having no news from him, thought he was dead.
Part 2:
ReplyDeleteThe situation was totally different with Hortense and Gilbert.
In fact, the Jamaican couple were more united than before.
It was due to the success of Hortense in teaching.
For a while, she was searching for a teaching post at a secondary school, but her application was rejected each time.
Then, one day, her fortune changed.
She was accepted by the Queen Elisabeth Secondary School.
The principal of the school, Mrs. Hamilton, was well-known for her progressive ideas.
As a teacher, Hortense was confronted with problems at the beginning, but she overcame them with persistence.
If Mrs. Hamilton was known for her tolerance, it was not the case with the other teachers at the school.
During the first days, they treated her with condescension and disrespect.
Her pupils at first couldn’t stand the idea that they were taught by a black woman.
Hortense had to suffer mean pranks like putting needles on her chair, stink bombs in her bag and a lot of humiliating nicknames: “monkey teacher”, “banana seller”, “mud eater” and “Mrs.Darky”.
Moreover, the parents of pupils were no less stupid.
When they learned that a black woman was going to teach their children, they protested and demanded Mrs. Hamilton fire Hortense.
Hamilton was a woman of strong character and she never gave in.
With time, Hortense proved herself as a very competent and sincere teacher.
Little by little, those who had rejected her, began to realise their mistakes and change their opinions about her and they apologised to her.
Since then, her life had never been better because she realised her dream of becoming a teacher in England.
Gilbert’s life also turned better.
Fed up with his job as a postman, he decided to open a small general store and he bought vacant premises in Brixton.
Brixton was a town where the largest Afro-Caribbean community was found in London.
He sold mainly Jamaican products which became very popular among the people of Brixton and his business was a great success.
Now, Hortense and Gilbert were the happiest couple in the world because they now had a real future they could look forward to.
The money they earned allowed them to move out of their room into a house.
Part 3:
ReplyDeleteQueenie, desperate, sat in an armchair and held her baby in her arms.
She thought about her solitude and the future of her son who would grow up without a father.
When somebody knocked on the door, she stood up from the chair, thinking it was a neighbour.
But it was Bernard.
Seeing her husband, Queenie, very surprised, stepped back and observed him carefully.
His face hadn’t changed much but he looked totally exhausted.
He came into the house and sat down on the sofa without a word.
Then, he said to Queenie “I’m sorry to have abandoned you”.
Queenie asked him “why did you leave?”
Bernard answered “Because I didn’t know how to react when you told me about my father and the baby. I took refuge in drinks without facing reality. I was a coward who decided to abandon his wife. I’m back because I realized that I was wrong and the only way to redeem myself was to begin a new life with you and MY son”
Hearing his confession, Queenie was very moved and started to cry, not with bitterness but with happiness and said “you are the only man I have ever loved in my life”.
Five years later, Hortense and Gilbert were living in a beautiful house overlooking Hyde Park and they now had twin daughters named Grace and Alice.
Hortense was still teaching at the same school.
The business of Gilbert had expanded meanwhile and he had now five grocery stores in London.
Bernard and Queenie had settled in the countryside away from London.
Bernard found that he had a talent for painting.
From his work he decided to paint the madness of the war and celebrate the beauty of life and love.
He was very successful in his work and his paintings became known all over England.
Queenie liked a quiet life in the countryside because she thought it was the best environment for her, Bernard and their son named Peter.
AN UNEXPECTED FRIENDSHIP
ReplyDelete1948
HORTENSE
I looked at Mrs Bligh with her baby, serene as a Madonna on the messy bed. And it felt like a vicious cruelty to have to ask her, “Shall I let them in now?”
Then I realized that, just before Mrs Bligh went into labor, as Bernard had been violently shouting at us, telling us to leave the house and Queenie trying to hold him back, something had dropped from her pocket. Therefore, when I came back to the bedroom, I picked it up. When I saw what it was, I couldn’t believe it, I closed my eyes, I stopped breathing. My heart was beating faster and faster. My whole body was shaking and it felt like my head was going to blow up. So I sat on the bed and stared at the thing that upset me so much. Then, I realized that I had no choice: I had to talk to Queenie.
Eventually, I entered her bedroom; she was lying on the bed with her baby who was sleeping peacefully. I didn’t want to interrupt this particular moment but I couldn’t let the chance slip through my fingers. Not one more time…
GILBERT
Queenie, Hortense and the baby had been in that room for hours. I wondered what they were talking about and I hoped I wouldn’t lose my wife. I used to be patient, especially with Hortense, however, this time, I couldn’t wait. Therefore, I opened the door and I didn’t see anyone. First of all, I thought that they had gone upstairs, but I searched the whole house and they were not there. Secondly, I asked Bernard, unwillingly, if he knew where they were, but he didn’t. So we finally decided to look for them together even if Bernard was the last person I wanted to be with.
To begin with, we searched the whole house to find a clue that could help us, but we didn’t find anything.
“We need to go to the police Gilbert!” said Bernard panicked.
“First, calm down Mr Bligh, we are going to find them, they are both responsible women…” but he interrupted me:
“They are not responsible! They are gone, Gilbert do you get it or not?”
BERNARD
I was running with a black man through London’s streets, so I realized that, despite everything that happened, I loved my wife and I would have done anything to get her back. Although I was different from Gilbert, we had a common goal, that is why we needed to work together.
We arrived at the police station and I told Gilbert:
“You should stay outside, you know, the police forces are not really used to…”
“To what Mr Bligh?” he said. So I realized I had said something wrong. “Nothing Gilbert, just stay here.” And that is what he did surprisingly!
Then, I entered a big office and told my story. The police officer explained to me that if they were missing for less than 12 hours, they could not do anything. I had never been so angry: “My wife and her baby are missing, they may be in danger and you are telling me that nothing can be done?” I shouted. As I was arguing with the policeman, a hurricane entered the office: it was Gilbert. He wanted to talk to the police officer, so I went outside because I thought it could be my only chance to find my wife.
In the end, I never knew what happened in that room; nevertheless, when I went back, the policeman told us that he would do his best to find our wives. Gilbert impressed me and I wanted to thank him. As a result, I asked him if he wanted to stay at my place for a while because maybe, he had nowhere else to go.
GILBERT
ReplyDeleteOn one hand, this proposition surprised me so much that I thought it was a trap but on the other hand Bernard was right, I had nowhere else to go so I said shamefully:
“You won’t even notice I am here!”
Now, it was only the two of us in that big empty house and I expected a long conversation with Bernard, explaining to him that black people are not monkeys but human beings, but instead, we just waited in the living rom, staring at each other and sometimes one of us made a tour of the city, asking people if they had seen a black and a white woman with a baby. After twenty-six days of endless waiting, the police contacted us: they had been seen at the port in Montreal: “Canada? Why?” I wondered. But we didn’t have time to ask questions: indeed, we took the first boat to Montreal.
BERNARD
We had been on this boat for eleven days now, with no toilet, almost no food and no water. I couldn’t believe that Queenie, Hortense and the baby had survived that hell. During this trip, I had time to talk to Gilbert (that was the only thing I could do to occupy my days!) and I realized he was not a bad guy. He talked about his life, his choices, and his wish to be a member of the RAF, in fact we were not so different and I guess, little by little, he became my friend! I was friend of a black man, if my RAF’s companions knew that!
One night, we witnessed a terrible storm. Everyone was screaming and crying, I had never seen such a frightful event. Besides, even Gilbert who was used to hurricanes in Jamaica was really scared and nervous. Nevertheless, he tried to calm me. The rain was beating so hard and the wind was blowing so much that I fell in the water. It was so cold, I couldn’t move and I couldn’t see anything: “Help, help!” I cried, so Gilbert jumped off the boat to rescue me, he took my hand and put me back on the boat, I was safe, but when I looked down, a huge wave took Gilbert who sank, and I never saw him again.
This man died to save me and suddenly, I regretted everything I said about black people: they are human beings, just like me, and Gilbert was the nicest and the most generous one I had ever met.
I finally arrived at the port in Montreal safe and sound, but crying because I had lost my friend.
QUEENIE
I saw the one I never expected to see anymore: “Bernard? How did you find us?” I said, taking him in my arms.
“Long story, I’ll explain, but I want to know what happened to you first”.
“As you know, a black man called Michael is the father of my baby and Hortense found a picture of him in my bedroom, with a letter he wrote to me 8 months ago. But Hortense knew Michael, from Jamaica, we both wanted him back, that is why we came here. The trip was exhausting and the baby almost died but we took care of him together and now he is safe. When we arrived in Michael’s house, we found his wife.”
“That boor got married!” added Hortense angrily,
“She told us Michael died in a car accident so we have nothing to do in Canada anymore.” I continued.
“Where is my Gilbert?” said Hortense excited.
After a long silence, Bernard told us his story and we couldn’t retain our tears.
HORTENSE
Tragedies happen, but why Gilbert? I just thought that, having known him was worth it, despite the pain his dead caused.
Queenie and Bernard, after everything we went through, decided that I would be the teacher and the governess of their beautiful baby: Michael Gilbert Arthur Bligh.
PART 2 :
ReplyDeleteTwo months later, I heard that Michael was alive and that he came to Queenie . I couldn't believe it . I thought he was dead ,but he was alive,but he didn’t come to me , the one he grew up with . Moreover, I wondered about how I could raise my son with Michael and Queenie close to me . Therefore, I went to Queenie's. I knocked ont the door wondering if what I was doing was right,I kept telling myself that I was right but deep down in my heart I knew I was wrong . Nevermind . It was too late now . Besides, Queenie had already opened the door . I knew in advance that I wouldn't be able to face her so I wrote a letter in which I explained why I decided to give her back her son.
One night, Queenie came to us in hurry with her baby,she was crying and devastated . Despite, the hate I felt for her , I empathize with her . First , she couldn't breath so we gave her some space. Once she was calm,she told us what happened . Michael and her had planned to see each other with the baby at her house as Bernard had an appointement in town . Nevertheless , at the last minute it had been cancelled . Michael showed up at the door and beyond all expectations , Bernard opened the door . Michael pretented that he must have knocked at the wrong door . Bernard told him scornuflly
"Typical darkie,can't even find their way " .
Michael got cross but remained calm and retort :
" I'll act as if I have misunderstood " but Bernard laughed at him and said
" Oh you don't have to pretend to do something that's natural in your genes,wogs can't do anything "
It was too much for Michael who couldn't help shouting it in Bernard's face .
"Chaa,maan you're right, I can't even sleep with your wife without getting her pregnant,nah " that was the final straw for Bernard . The two men started fighting . Queenie tried to separate them but they were too strong for her . Suddenly,there was no more sound, so Queenie came to see what happened . However , she saw Michael's body laying on the floor,unconscious,so she tried to hear to his heartbeat but there was none . She cried,then she hold Michael's hand,closed his eyes and kissed him. Next , she ran away from Bernard. I couldn't realize that Michael was gone once and for all . I told her if she would like to stay with us .
Few people came to Michael's funeral,only Queenie,her son,Gilbert and I .
PART 3 :
ReplyDeleteFifteen years passed by since that day, Queenie and her son lived with us for two years as finding a job was a difficult task . She worked in a bakery in the neighbourhood and lived at the top floor of a building . Since that night , Bernard became an alcoholic . Apparently,drunking was the only way for him to escape from his nightmares about the murder .Moreover, he couldn't face the reality of being alone, as he didn't have friends anymore and being hated . This hate was due to the fact he had raised with Queenie a "half-caste baby" . It was the worst situation ever. It was the progeny of two different races . For this reason,Queenie and Michael were the targets of the neighbourhood. Unlike them ,we were just «darkies » so they didn't care about us .
Furthermore, Michael had only few friends as even his blacks mates were afraid of becoming a punching bag because of their friendship with Michael . In the meantime,Queenie became weak and was dying day after day . She blamed herself for her son's misfortune . She lost her charm and her beautiful blonde curls. At knowing what their lives became I felt apart and blamed myself . Then Gilbert tried to comfort me :
" Cha Hortense what happened,I never saw you like this since I met you! What the hell is going on ?!!! " .
I stuttered "Gilbert,this....this is all my fault ...I shouldn't have given Michael back to Queenie.... None,none of this would have happened !! What did I do,Gilbert ?!!! This poor child had nothing to do with what his father did. I made thing worse for him , I brought about Michael and Queenie's downfall "
Then he hugged me so tight that I felt like he was bringing back the pieces of my heart that had fallen apart . Next, he told me :
" I can't just hear you blaming yourself anymore, I am responsible too . Hortense,we can still do something about it ! We let awful things happened,let's not let things getting worse " .
Then , we prepared ourselves and went to Queenie's and her son with the hope that we could help them . It was 8 p.m and Michael was not there . He used to check on his mother at that hour . Something was wrong . I could fell it in my bones . I ran like the wind,till I was out of breath but I got weak quickly . However,my pain went away at seeing Michael far and away suddenly a white group came to him .They looked at him violently so I tried to ran but I felt on the ground .
Then, I heard a sound which was getting bigger and bigger. In fact,it was an echo of a horrible sound,the echo of a gunshot . Next, I saw a body falling down. I burst into tears .
1963
I feel sad for Queenie because I realised that once people are broken in certain way, they can't ever be fixed and this is someting nobody ever tells you when you are young . I wish somebody had told me . It was too late ......
Image
PART 1 :
ReplyDelete"It was too late ...."
Hortense
London,1964,Hortense is thinking about the past
BEFORE
I could stare on this cute little face for hours. Something in this face has always attracted me . I used to lost myself into his deep eyes, I couldn't see anything else . The world was gone . There was just the two of us . As months go by,I found that I was the happiest woman ever in the world . Indeed, I had a considerate husband and a child . Until last year, I used to look after myself before Gilbert came along and I just couldn't imagine my life without them anymore .
Sometimes, Queenie came at home to see the baby . She couldn't come often as she didn't want Bernard to suspect something. Moreover,she kept convincing herself that the less she met her son the less she would suffer . At first sight,she seemed strong and happy but behind each smile I could see pain,the pain from being away from her son . Seeing her son made her so happy . After each goodbye, she had to dry her tears and went back to her miserable life with Bernard .
On a warm sunny afternoon, I was searching forsomething and I came across the picture of Michael and I,taken in Jamaica few years ago . Then,something caught my attention and reminded me of my son so I stared at my son and the picture and I notice that they both had the same look I used to fall for and smile at . My first intuition made me think that maybe he was Michael's son as Queenie named her son after his father's name .
When Queenie came to see her son again , I asked her some questions to know for sure . First,she didn't want to answer me as it reminded her about happy memories but painful ones . Then, she took a deep breath and told me that the father was from Jamaica,that he joined the RAF and that this lastname was Robert . At that special moment,I remembered how devastated I was since Michael had left for the RAF. Besides , I remembered the look that my son and Michael had in common,next I remembered the first time Queenie came to me and put me in mind of Mrs Ryder . My subconscious had known from the start . I was so mad that I left with my son as fast as I could without saying any words to Queenie and allowing her a warm goodbye . I felt mad at myself as Gilbert was doing everything he could to cheer me up but I couldn't just override my pain which was emerging again .
Sorry for the disorder,there was a problem with my computer
ReplyDeleteHORTENSE:
ReplyDeleteIt has been a long time since we saw Queenie. Our little Michael grew up quickly in six months. Queenie and Bernard used to come quite often at home, to visit Gilbert and I, but it has been more than two months now since we last saw them. When we got to their place, we learnt that Queenie was sick. The doctor didn’t really know what her disease was due to, but she had a lot of temperature and frequent nausea. I could read on Bernard’s face that he was worried. But there was something more... Something he wasn’t telling us. What was it..? I didn’t know that I would discover it soon. As we walked into Queenie’s room, the smell of sickness was surrounding all the area, it was everywhere: in the air, on the bed, we could smell it from the door. What a terrible smell. We didn’t bring little Michael over, we thought it was better for him, and it was safer according to the doctor. I sat on Queenie’s bed.
«My dear, I said, how are you feeling this morning?
- « I had better days Hortense, » said Queenie in an exhausted voice, but I’m alright. Wish I was better though. I look terrible, I’m so ashamed...
- Oh don’t you say such things! You look fantastic! Oh god, if only I looked just like you when I am sick! Gilbert would be more than happy.
- Thank you Hortense, you’re so kind...
- Is Bernard taking good care of you?
- Well he’s at work in the morning but tries to come back early every night to make me dinner. I think he’s in the kitchen right now, he didn’t go to work today.
- I will go and say hello then. I will leave you with Gilbert now.
- Okay then, thank you so much, I’m eager to see you tomorrow already.
- And so am I. Goodbye my dear Queenie».
And so I left the room to find Bernard, in the kitchen, next to Queenie’s room.
ReplyDelete«Good morning Bernard, I said, iced cold.
- Morning Hortense. How are you? And how is your husband? he said as I could read jealousy in his eyes.
- We’re both fine thank you. What did the doctor say today?
- I don’t think it is any of your business, I can deal with my wife’s sickness by myself woman.
- Know that if I’m asking this, it’s for Queenie, not for you. I’m worried about her and you’re not making any of this easier, so what did the doctor say?
- My wife doesn’t need your mercy, she’s doing just fine!
- No she’s not! Look at the truth Bernard, she’s dying! You have to act, she needs you, she needs all of us! You don’t want her son to grow up without knowing his mother, do you?
- How dare you? You, get out of my house! Now! I don’t want to see you anymore, is that clear?»
As Gilbert heard us yelling, he came in the kitchen:
« What’s goin’ on here? Queenie’s worried, she needs rest and you both yelling like monkeys ain’t helping!
- Ah Gilbert, said Bernard, there you are! You both better leave soon before I call the police!
- Calm down Bernard, please, said my husband. Why are you so upset? What happened?
- I’m going to tell you what happened: your wife is less than nothing, insubordinate! She better learn how to behave before I teach her a lesson!
- And you better calm the heck down before I teach you a lesson! How dare you talk to my wife this way? We’ve been here since the beginning, helping you to get through Queenie’s sickness, and that’s how you thank us?
- I can handle it on my own, now you better just leave.
- No! said a little voice, breathing roughly in my back. They won’t leave Bernard, said Queenie. You’re the one leaving. I’m done hearing you complain all the time, it’s unbearable. Hortense and Gilbert are my friends, and they take better care of me than you do!
- But Queenie, what..? whispered Bernard.
- There’s no «but». I can’t take it anymore, you have to go, otherwise you’re the one who’s going to kill me! Don’t you see: I’m doomed as long as you’ll stay in this house! So leave, and never come back.
- Queenie, said Gilbert, you have to calm down. Your reaction is way too extreme, you need to think first.
- Oh I’ve been thinking for three months Gilbert, and I’ve made my decision. He won’t make me suffer anymore, not my own husband. I mean, my ex-husband.»
As the conversation was ending, Bernard started crying. He rushed upstairs, took a few clothes, and before leaving he said:
«Your son is the person who will kill you. He’s the only sin you’ve committed since you’re born, and you’re being punished for your actions. I love you Queenie.»
And he left. Queenie collapsed in tears as Gilbert brought her back to her room. A little while later, we left Queenie’s to go back home and take care of our little Michael.
ReplyDeleteWeeks, months passed. After a year, Michael could walk and speak a few words. He visited his sick mother everyday after kintergarden. As for Queenie, her state was deteriorating in a very aggressive and fast way. After a year, we discovered she had cancer. At first we thought it was just the flu, but we didn’t know it could be cancer. She had just a few months left, according to the doctor. She started losing her hair. One day I came into her room: she was totally bald. I couldn’t help dropping a tear.
«Don’t cry my dear, said Queenie. It’ll be alright. I’m ready now.
- Don’t you dare Queenie! I yelled. Don’t you dare lose hope! You have to live, for your son! He needs you...
- He has you now. You are his family. And when I’ll be gone, you’ll talk to him about me, about my life, you’ll show him pictures and... She started crying, tears flowing like a river on her face. And you’ll love him like he was your son, you’ll love him, as I love him, as I love you both Gilbert and you...
- Oh Queenie... What are we going to do without you..?
- I’ll always be there, no matter what. No matter how far you go, Michael is the proof that I’m still alive, because I’ll be living through him... He’s the most precious thing I have, oh please Hortense, my friend, take good care of him!
- I will, I promise you, I will.
- Tell him I’ll always be there for him, and whenever he needs me, he’ll just have to look up in the sky, and stare at the stars... He will find me there.»
These were the last words I heard from my dearest friend. Those words were for her son. Queenie died in the late afternoon that very same day. Gilbert and I cried the whole night... We didn’t know how to say to our baby that he will never be able to talk to his mother again.
ReplyDeleteWe organized the funerals the week that followed Queenie’s death. Her dead body was laying down in a golden coffin, her face was pale and her beautiful eyes were closed. I never thought I would see her in this position one day. We all cried over her dead body on that rainy day, but suddenly, a memory crossed my mind as I was looking at Michael... And I remembered that Queenie was still there somewhere, inside him, looking after us, because she will never be totally gone, she will always be there in the stars, looking down upon us. At that moment, I knew that this is what I would tell her son.
The end of a great love epic
ReplyDeleteHortence
Before …
At last, my dream came true. Despite the buildings in ruin still in smoke and the dusty streets as a result of the war, I couldn’t stop pressing the little bell, which was my dream when I was in Jamaica. I wasn’t yet satisfied with it. I used to spend my days going around, tidying up and decorating this gorgeous home in downtown London. I also used to plan my days around my school courses because, for the second time, I was trying to graduate as a teacher. (Despite the good work I used to do, my instructor refused to make me pass to the next level. In the school where I had applied for a position, even the secretaries had treated me in the same manner. I could not move ahead).
One day, my instructor made a mistake on the blackboard and I raised my hand and pointed out the error to her. I just couldn’t believe how angry she became. I, the outcast of the school, was asked to leave the classroom. I had no remorse of what I did and I was proud of it. While thinking of this, I am still able to smile about it.
However, I had this lack of love for others. Gilbert seemed like a perfect guy for me. He was courteous, friendly and polite. He paid attention to me and was very sweet. I wasn’t able to have the same feelings I felt for Mickael. In addition, I couldn’t stop seeing in him the face of the child that Queenie had given me. I thought I was a little crazy but while this latter was growing up, I could see that his eyes looked like Mickael’s eyes. His cheeks, nose and his whole face looked like his and even the name that Queenie had chosen for him had some similarities to his: a coincidence that fills my heart with joy and pity at the same time. Moreover, the rubbles in the London streets left by the war, gave the impression of fantasy and the city that used to be magical in my mind, was nothing more than rubbles and devastation. The look in the face of people seemed to be tortured by the remembrance of the war. These faces showed fear. Nevertheless, in the midst of all this confusion in smoke, people appeared to be still happy and hopefull.
Even though the tragedy was still present, I used to enjoy decorating the house, preparing fries for Gilbert and to educate Mickael. For me, life here was even better than the one in Jamaica., yet I was still thinking of my beautiful native country. Despite all its imperfections, I still dream at night of the beautiful white sandy beaches, its turquoise water and its waterfalls that come down creating this mist that refreshes your face. Regardless of this paradise, my life was now in London in the house of my dreams: Gilbert, Mickael and I often went to visit Queenie and Bernard who used to live in our previous home.
One night in 1952, we were all at Queenie and Bernard’s house celebrating a great event. Queenie had succeeded in improving the relationship between Bernard, Gilbert and myself. Bernard’s racism had finally calmed down when Queenie told him that Gilbert had been very pleasant towards his father. We were all sitting at the table and I couldn’t stop noticing that Bernard’s look wasn’t as scornful as usual but rather pleasant towards Mickael. On the opposite side of table sat Queenie who was looking at Mickael with an inexplicable tenderness. I could wait to express the love and tenderness that reigned around the table on this occasion. “Queenie, Bernard, I am expecting Gilbert’s baby and we’ve decided that if it going to be a girl, we’ll name her Queenie”, I said shyly but happy. Queenie began to laugh from joy and got up and hugged me tightly. It was the first time that I had seen her really happy. Queenie had become my best friend and my confidante whom I trusted a lot and whom I never hid another thing from her.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the wonderful meal, Gilbert and Bernard began to play cards while Queenie who had been so moved by the announcement, decided to go lie down. Not having anything to do, I decided to go and check out the little room where Gilbert and I had lived before. Apparently, no one had gone into that room since our departure. When I bent down to see how dusty the room had become, I saw a black wallet under the bed. My curiosity drove me to pick up the wallet and open it. I could feel my heart beat faster and faster. There was a black and white picture in the wallet of a man wearing a hat. I couldn’t understand. My eyes started to see blurry. It was a picture of Mickael, not the one that I have raised but the one I had loved tenderly in the past and who had left me. The picture he had left me was at home and how could there be another one of him here? I weird thought came to my mind. I took the picture out of the wallet and rushed home to see if the one Mickael had left me was still there. Gilbert was screaming in the cold and wet street of London trying to catch up to me and was begging me to slow down. I couldn’t, I was running as fast as I could. Once I arrived home, my desperation and my misunderstanding bothered me even more. I stood there looking at the two pictures which were identical. I couldn’t feel my legs anymore. I was so lost from this occurrence that Gilbert had to helped me to our room and put me to bed where I fell asleep in a flash.
The next morning, I woke up in a jolt. I needed to understand all of this without mentioning it to Queenie. I spent the whole day asking myself questions. While I was preparing dinner, I kept on watching Mickael playing in the street with his friends. “My God, my God!” I screamed. All the dishes I was holding in my hands fell to the floor. I had understood why Queenie had given him that name. Queenie had had a child with Mickael and that’s why they looked alike a lot. What a revolting feeling to have raised the son of a person who one has loved without being the mother. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if it was wise to mention it to Queenie or not. I didn’t know whether it was a good idea to tell Mickael the truth, to tell him that this man was a womanizer, moving from one adventure to another without turning back and abandoning them, leaving behind just a picture of himself. No, I couldn’t. Surely the love she used to feel for him, was stronger the one I felt in the past. I had loved him so much that I had named his own son Mickael even though he had given him to me in such a sad way. I decided then not to say anything to anyone and also decided to burn these evil pictures.
Now …
ReplyDeleteSome twenty years later, Queenie’s secret was still mine.
While I am here telling you the story, I want you to know that Mickael now knows that Queenie is his mother but hasn’t met his father yet.
My daughter named Queenie is now twenty-three years old. Out of all this, there was thing positive and that is that my daughter Queenie and my adopted son Mickael have grown up together, but Mickael aware of his roots. The two have decided to get married. Queenie in her old age is very ill. The love that these two children shared seemed to be true and sincere. They got married on a beautiful sunny day in Jamaica. The wedding took place on a beautiful beach, which I used to dream about, and which I used to miss greatly.
Everyone had travelled to Jamaica for the wedding except Bernard whom was still furious about Queenie for betrayed him. Even Queenie with her fragile health travelled to attend the wedding. Gilbert was even happier than me of this unforgettable moment.
The youngsters were in love and living the dream of a lifetime. My long story comes to an end here on this beautiful beach of Jamaica where it all started.
A beautiful ending for Queenie and I despite the lifelong secret we held inside: this was the gift we deserved.
1951
ReplyDeleteThree years after Hortense and Gilbert quit Queenie to dwell in their own house, they had wonderful new life, and with money they had saved they could put John, the baby Gilbert and Hortence adopted, in a day-nursery. It was quiet difficult for a black baby to be accepted. It was still racialism and it became more complicated to be respected and treated black people. However Hortense became an English teacher in a private school in London. She searched for this job for almost a year but her dream came true. She was respected by everybody in spite of the fact that at first she very suffered from racism and sexism. Every single day she fought against inequalities just because she was a young black lady. Nevertheless she enjoyed teaching. As for Gilbert, he was hired as a driver for a CEO of a big company. During three years, he got a hard life: he changed several time jobs and often he had big troubles with his employers. They treated him like an object with no compassion and no recognition. He couldn’t bear his situation anymore. One day he found an announcement for a job as a driver for a CEO, a couple days later he was hired. His boss was kind and respected all his employees especially those who were in the RAF. Gilbert had now a better situation and he could enjoy his life as he wished. They had a far better life compared to other blacks, and sometimes they earned more money than their whites neighbors. They couldn’t expect better at this time!
The first week of June after a long day work, they received a letter at home which seemed to come from far.
“What is it Hortence?” asked Gilbert
“We received a strange letter. It’s unusual to receive this! Gilbert, have you done anything wrong recently?”
“Absolutely not! Why are you accusing me? I’m not your student! Just open it and let’s see what is inside. “
Hortense opened the letter, it was from Jamaica. Both were surprised by the provenance. It was Judith, Gilbert’s aunt who wrote them. She invited them to Jamaica for summer. They couldn’t decline this invitation beacause Gilbert knew his aunt and she would be upset if they didn’t come there. The same day Gilbert bought boat tickets for the 17th July.
The day of departure they were exited to return to their native country and they expected to show all they had accomplished and of course introduce John to the family. On the ship their travel cabin was very narrow and it was quiet difficult to enjoy the comfort they dreamed. Of early days were the most complicated for them due to the fact that Gilbert and John were seasick and Hortense felt sick. The trip didn’t begin in the best ways. Day after day the journey was getting worse even if they believed it couldn’t be worse, it was a rough crossing . Indeed on the 10th day, a terrible storm hit the boat and ravaged a large part of the ship. There were lot of damages; as a matter of fact they had to share their tiny cabin with another family. So Gilbert broke unluckily his arm during the storm when he wanted to reach his cabin to protect Hortense and John. However the trip continued seen that the engine wasn’t damaged. The last two days were more bearable; John and his father could handle the seasick.
Part II :
ReplyDeleteThe 4th August day of arrival, Judith waited anxiously for the three Londoners. She didn’t see them for such a long time, she was anxious in case she didn’t recognize them. On the dock Gilbert saw immediately a tiny woman who was wearing a red dress with yellow straw hat: it was Judith. He ran to her with John in his arms. Both were glad to see them after almost 3 years. Aunt drove them to the house which was located in Wellington, a beautiful place surrounded by the ocean. The next day, the rest of the family who heard the news came over to Judith’s house to meet them. Around a good meal prepared by Judith, Hortense and Gilbert spoke about their adventures in England. Hortense told her cousins what was education like there and how she fought to obtain what she wanted. They were fascinated by her bravery and amused how she told her story. In the same time Gilbert used to tell his situation, how he suffered from racism, how many times he had to change his job and finally how he obtained his new job. They said how bad the situation for black people was though they had a better life than the majority of their black brothers. Meanwhile John met for the first time his family and he had played with his cousins on the beach.
Few days later while they were on café’s terrace on a lightly cloudy evening, Hortence seemed to descry, on the other side of the road, a white young lady with blond hair, she couldn’t recognize her but her appearance was familiar. Three hours later while they were walking on the sand beach, she was there again; Hortense could this time recognize this woman: she was Queenie! Three years after they quit her, they saw her again. Hortense informed her husband that Quennie was there. He couldn’t believe her, what was she doing here in Jamaica? Hortense and Gilbert went to find her. It was a good surprise. Quennie was also moved to meet her old friends there. She suggested they had a drink and a chat, they didn’t refuse. They went to Quennie’s hotel. She told them she had divorced Bernard because he became more violent and alcoholic, she didn’t bear him anymore. So she came here a while to discover Jamaica culture, she said that she would quit the island soon.
On 17th August a terrible and unexpected drama happened, unforgettable drama. A terrific hurricane hit Jamaica: it was Hurricane Charlie. Gilbert and Hortence were walking on a beach when this happened; they saw death coming. They tried to take refuge in a cave next to the beach. They waited for a few hours; John was frightened and couldn’t stop crying in front of his parent’s eyes lost in this disaster. Hours passed and still this finiteness came back. When they left, they saw ruins. Everything was destroyed by Charlie; houses, shops, trees, nothing was saved. Gilbert though immediately of his aunt, how was she right now? They rushed to Judith’s house, when they came, all was desolation. The house was blown-up by the hurricane, nothing left. Gilbert hurried up to the house. He saw his aunt on the floor under the ruins. He ran over to her but it was useless, she couldn’t breathe anymore, it was over. She was buried the next day in the garden.
The Lost Orphan
ReplyDeleteIt was a calm night. The neighbourhood seemed to be at peace and the families were resting after a long day at work. This peace was suddenly interrupted by the cry of a baby coming from Queenie’s house.
It was over. Bernard followed the doctors to the ambulance as they were taking Queenie to the mortuary. Gilbert was trying to calm the baby, crying as if he knew what life was awaiting him. Gilbert thought of the last words he had said to Queenie on her deathbed. The baby could not stay with Bernard. Of course it would never be easy to raise a baby whose mother died while giving birth and whose father hated him because of his skin color, but Gilbert made her a promise and he intended to keep it.
A few days later, the city of London organized a trial to decide who will be responsible for the baby. Gilbert and Hortense asked to take care of the baby but Bernard refused, declaring that it was his duty to raise the baby. Gilbert then accused Bernard of wanting the baby for revenge and to make his life miserable. Yet, in spite of this, as it was a white man’s word against a black man’ word, the Justice agreed that Bernard would be the new father. Gilbert realized that even the State was corrupt and still discriminated against black people. He had failed Queenie.
One day there was an unexpected visit at Bernard’s place.
It was Michael. Although he had travelled for months all over Canada he was simply incapable of living his new life peacefully. Indeed he could not stop thinking about a woman, Queenie. No matter how hard he tried, he was just not able to forget her so he went back to England to ask her to live with him. After a long sea trip, he finally got to Queenie’s house and knocked on the door. A drunken man opened the door, it was Bernard.
- “What do you want?” Bernard mumbled.
- “Excuse me is this Queenie’s house?” Michael asked politely.
- “Who are you to speak about her?”
- “My name is Michael and I met her during the war as she kindly provided us with food and shelter for a night, may I see her?”
Suddenly it seemed as if lightning had struck Bernard. He jumped on Michael, punched him and they both rolled on the ground, fighting wildly. Michael was able to overcome Bernard who was clumsy due to drunkeness and knocked him out with a kick in his face. He rushed into Queenie’s house, called for her, but no one answered. He then went upstairs to the bedroom and froze as his gaze dropped to a baby lying on the bed. He felt a strange sensation, as if this baby was familiar to him but he could not recall why. Then Bernard’s scream jolted him, as he knew that the police would soon be after him. He ran out of the house and jumped over the fence. When he thought he was out of reach, he sat on a bench in a park and started crying. He barely noticed the man sitting next to him:
ReplyDelete- “It’s a hard life isn’t it? I like to come here when I feel sad, just to look at the trees and forget about everything else. What’s your name?” the man asked while giving him a tissue.
- “My name is not important, just leave me alone” answered Michael.
- “I’m afraid I can’t do that, you remind me of myself when I went through hard times. And you don’t seem to be too bad a person compared to all these people who think they are superior by the color of their skin” he added with a smirk on his lips “where do you live?”
- Michael smiled back and said : “I used to live in Canada, but really I’m from Jamaica”
- “Oh Jamaica that’s where I come from too! I’m Gilbert, pleased to meet you!”
- “And I’m Michael.”
- “Would you care to come to my place and stay for the night?”
Michael nodded back and they both walked to Gilbert’s house. They came in and sat down at the table.
- “My love, please welcome a guest, he comes from Jamaica and I asked him to share dinner with us tonight!” Gilbert said loudly.
- Hortense walked quickly to dining room and said: “Gilbert I told you I was tired and that.”
She suddently fell unconscious on the floor in the middle of her sentence as she saw that the guest was in fact Michael. It was a long night. Michael explained to Gilbert every detail of his life since he left Jamaica and how much he now regretted the choices he had made, but nevertheless Hortense kept ignoring him. He then asked if they knew anything about a woman called Queenie. Gilbert answered that she had passed away months ago while giving birth. He also told him that Bernard was supposed to be taking care of her baby. Michael’s heart was shredded to pieces. He ran outside and fell on his knees. His last hopes were destroyed and he felt as if he could never live peacefully again. All of a sudden, a thought dawned on him. The strange feeling he had when he saw the baby on the bed, Bernard attacking him when he said he met Queenie during the war, Queenie dying while giving birth, he was the father of the baby Bernard was taking care of! He got up, ran to Queenie’s house and opened the door. The door was unlocked, Bernard must be drunk and forgot to close it, he thought. He went in, tip toeing to the bedroom upstairs. He opened the door and saw the baby on the bed and Bernard snoring on the floor. He silently picked up the baby and left the house.
The wind unfortunately slammed the door behind him, which woke up Bernard who started screaming when he saw that the baby was missing. Michael ran back to Gilbert’s house entered the dining room, gasping for air, and said:
ReplyDelete- “Gilbert! Hortense! You must take this baby and leave for Jamaica tonight!”
- “You stole the baby from Bernard, are you crazy?!” Hortense screamed.
- “Hortense, he is my son! Please if you won’t do it for me, do it for Queenie!”
- “But what are you going to do?” asked Gilbert.
- “Bernard will know who did this, he knows who I am. I will turn myself in. The police will then look for you, you are not safe here anymore, you must go!” Michael insisted.
- “Very well, Hortense come, we are leaving immediately” answered Gilbert in a rush.
Michael gave the baby to Hortense and added:
- “I hope you will think a bit better of me, Hortense”
- “But Michael, I’m sure there must be another way, you can’t do this to your son!” she cried.
- “There is no other way, talk to my son about me, and tell him that I will always think of him, every minute of my days, for as long as I live”
Hearing sirens in the distance, Michael ran out of the house briskly, without hesitation.
Gilbert and Hortense successfully left England that night. During the trip, they thought that everyone’s dream, while leaving for the Motherland, didn’t go quite as expected. Happiness is often within our reach, we only need to open our eyes to see it surrounding us.
Many years later, after a constant failure of the authorities to find the baby, the courts decided to release Michael, declaring he was too old to be of use anymore for the investigation. Michael decided to take his final trip, to see his friends and his son, in a Small Island.
(Part 3 : 1949)
ReplyDeleteThe following week, he sold his tumbledown house of London for a crust of bread. With the money, he bought two tickets to Boston, USA from where they would go to Montreal where Michael did live.
He came back home happy after all the things he had discovered and planed. He arrived full of dream of his new life in Canada.
He entered in Queenie’s room and said : « -I am aware of all your pain and sadness, and I know that I am responsible for that. ». Silence, he continued : « But now time had past and I think it is the moment for you and me to clear this situation together. I have decided to leave this country and go to Canada. » He asked with a confident voice : « Do you want to come with me Queenie ? ». Queenie open her eyes, stood out the bed and said with her trembling voice : « - Yes I think this is time to leave this country. » They both cried and Bernard took Queenie in his arms.
Queenie accepted and seemed to be more and more lucid everyday thank to this new hope. Bernard didn't tell her that they were looking for Michael. They were just leaving the country where they both had suffered to much.
(Part 4: 1949 + flash back 1947)
Michael and his wife, a young and beautiful Canadian brown-haired girl from Toronto, lived peacefully on a small farm, in the south of Canada. But actually they weren’t alone, there was Celia Langley the ambitious Jamaican girl with them.
When he left England two years ago he didn't immediately come to Canada. First he came back to Jamaica where he met Celia Langley.
It was during a hot morning, Michael was packing some stuff in the street. Celia just went out of the church. It was her mother’s funeral. She was wearing black clothes but actually wasn’t sad at all. Her mother prevent her to leave Jamaica. She was still thinking about it when she met Michael.
She started : «- Michael ! I haven’t see you for years ! What are you doing here ? » Michael didn’t even look at her, and answered : « - I am leaving Jamaica for ever so I managed all my businesses here. ». When she heard these words her eyes began to shine : she had found a new way to leave this Small Island.
She felt she was losing him over the discussion so she began to lie : she told to Michael that she was in danger of death because of an english officer. Hortense would had advised her to ask him for help. Michael accepted to bring Celia with him out Jamaica. He took this decision first because he was a good man with compassion, but mostly because he still had strong feelings for his child mate Hortense.
The next morning they had took the ship to the Canada and after several adventures, they found the Michael’s farm then met Michael’s wife. Celia and Michael became very close as brother and sister.
(Conclusion)
Finally Bernard never found Michael Roberts but he never regretted anything because Queenie became happy again. They had two children and decided to settle on the west coast of Canada near Vancouver where they had a shop.
Celia died of a cancer five years later in 1953. Michael and her wife moved to Australia for new challenges.
1180 words
Small Island : another ending
ReplyDelete(Introduction)
It began three months after Queenie gave her child to Hortense at the end of the year 1948. Things weren’t fixed at all for the Blighs but they still lived together in their home in London.
At the far end of Atlantique, Michael Robert and Celia Langley lived in the Canadian’s countryside.
So what happened to these characters and How are they going to achieve them journeys ?
(Part 1 : end of 1948)
It had been a very cold and sad winter for the Blighs, certainly the worst they had ever lived.
Queenie had been devastated by the loss of her child : for these three months she had a big breakdown with a paranoiac behavior.
Bernard was feeling very guilty and suffering from that situation. However, he tried everything to make her feel better.
Finally, she used to stay the entire day at home without eating and of course she often cried.
Bernard didn't know how to handle the situation. He was simply desperate. He eventually decided to bring Queenie to the country house. He offered his wife a new life . He was trying to make her happy but nothing had ever really worked.
After a reflection, he took the initiative to find Queenie's baby’s father even if it hurt him a lot : it was the symbol of his failures with Queenie. Moreover he was a black person : an inferior race according to him. But he was fed up with his weaknesses . He strongly thought that Michael would help her : his color of skin didn’t matter anymore. He began the investigations.
(Part 2 : 1949)
He asked his neighbors in London, rummaged about it in her stuff. He finally found a picture of a black man. If a black soldier had slept into his house, that meant he was at least an officer because simple black soldier used to sleep in special military barracks. He decided to go, the next morning, to the military office of London the head quarter of the RAF.
A beautiful red-haired girl was at the reception desk : Bernard asked with hesitation : « - I am… I was a RAF soldier. I am looking for someone, an officer. Is that possible to check a list of soldier who served during the war ? ». unfortunately the woman answered Bernard he was a simple soldier during war so he wasn't allowed to examine the RAF files.
He was leaving the building very disappointed when he met one of his mates from war. Bernard shout his name : « -Henry ! ». The man turn around : he was a RAF colonel.
Bernard began surprised : « - Time had changed since Brighton », Henry knew how horrible Bernard’s Brighton experience had been because he had met him there. He answered soberly : «- Yes a lot ... You know I am colonel now. »
Bernard told his story after the war and Brighton and asked his friend for help to find this anonymous black officer. Henry accepted immediately because the poor Bernard inspired him pity.
They both entered the ground-hall of the building and look for the list of black pilots. They compared the pictures, and one matched : Michael Roberts a black pilot shut down in the French territory; but he survived and was saved, then brought back to England thanks to French resistants.
Bernard began relievedly : «- Finally I find him. » . But Henry noticed one thing in the file of Michael : « - But I think there is a little problem : He lives in Canada now »
His crazy idea to bring back happiness to his wife took a new scale. He could start a whole new adventure on this unknown country with Queenie. He answered determinate : « So I will go there with Queenie and find Michael Roberts ! »